11/28/1999 - INFORMAL PONDERING (ROLES AND ENERGY)

Session Start: Sun Nov 28 21:19:49 1999
*** Now talking in #SpiritualPersistence
*** Topic is ' 2,4~Informal 2,7Pondering (Roles and Energy)2,9Tonight 2,11at 2,129pm 2,13EST~ 2,0Hosted by Rev. Dr. Randolph Becker & Elissa Bishop Becker (and Rikkity). URL: www.spiritualpersistence.com '

TF88. . . .{{{E}}}
Steph. . . .hi elissa
Jackie. . . .Hi Elissa
Elissa. . . .hi guys!
Hanna. . . .Hey 'lissa!
Alisa. . . .Hi Elissa
Marie1. . . .hi elissa
zee. . . .hi Elissa
blue. . . .hi Elissa
RevAngelsHorizons. . . .hello elissa
Elissa. . . .hi everyone...what's up?
Hanna. . . .Well geez Elissa.. we're waiting for you!
Elissa. . . .hahaha i thought randy was here!
Elissa. . . .guess not
Hanna. . . .I figured that because the Pondering of the Week seemed to be about roles.. you were waiting to see if we were gonna play roles and be you and Randy tonight!
Elissa. . . .there's an idea :)
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Jackie. . . .Hi Rev
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Hanna. . . .Hey Rev! :)
RevRandy. . . .Hi there -
TF88. . . .hi RevRandy
Jackie. . . .Hi Billy, Denny
Deni. . . .hi JAckie
Alisa. . . .hi RevRandy:)
Deni. . . .hi everyone!!!!!
RevAngelsHorizons. . . .hi revrandy
Deb. . . .Hi Elissa, Rev, Hanna, and everyone ..
blue. . . .hi rev randy
RevRandy. . . .What a crowd -
Jackie. . . .lots and lots
Elissa. . . .some new people here i see
blue. . . .i'm new
Elissa. . . .welcome blue
blue. . . .thank you
Elissa. . . .and welcome everyone who's new and everyone who's old and everyone who feels old...like me lol
Deni. . . .me me me
Deni. . . .{~~~feels real old~~
Elissa. . . .((((((deni-face))))))
Deni. . . .((((((((((lissa-pooh
RevRandy. . . .calm down Deni (and use your walker nicely)
Deni. . . .lol Rev
TF88. . . .hi Deni :)
RevRandy. . . .hey TF -
Deni. . . .hi TF!!
* Deb says hi to everyone
Elissa. . . .hi deb
Elissa. . . .randy how about an invocation
RevRandy. . . .OK - just any invocation
RevRandy. . . .or do you want the special, super-duper, Rikkity one
Elissa. . . .ours i think
RevRandy. . . .OK
RevRandy. . . .Friends -
RevRandy. . . .join in the spirit of these simple words of gathering
RevRandy. . . .May we be connected to all things loving
RevRandy. . . .Protected from all things evil
RevRandy. . . .and guided in all ways gracious.
RevRandy. . . .Blessed Be
Elissa. . . .amen~
Deni. . . .Amen
Steph. . . .Amen
Alisa. . . .Amen
blue. . . .amen
TF88. . . .peace
Rox. . . .Amen
Hanna. . . .Amen and blessings for the room
Deb. . . .Amen
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Elissa. . . .hey ky
Deni. . . .hi kybear
kybear. . . .hi elissa
kybear. . . .hi deni
Elissa. . . .so what shall we ponder tonight? any thoughts?
Elissa. . . .questions? ideas? limericks?
Hanna. . . .What about the pondering of the week? About roles?
Elissa. . . .good idea hanna! any thoughts on roles and the way we can get stuck in one?
tina. . . .what do you mean by roles? like a mother or a wife role?
Elissa. . . .tina, yes that kind or an age-related one or job-related...anything like that.
Steph. . . .I am stuck in a role
Steph. . . .As family decision maker. Hate it
Elissa. . . .steph do you feel you can't not be the decision maker?
Steph. . . .I don't think it is my place to make their decisions.
Steph. . . .But they think it is
Steph. . . .The whole family....cousins....aunts....the whole family! Drives me nuts
tina. . . .then it's easy to blame you if it doesn't work Steph
Steph. . . .Your exactly right!
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Hanna. . . .And do you make the decisions for them?
Steph. . . .sometimes...someone has to finally make one.
Hanna. . . .So.... you choose to do that.. and get mad at them?
Steph. . . .No, dont get mad...just aggravated
Elissa. . . .steph what would happen if you decided to change that role?
Steph. . . .I have tried to change it. They keep calling!!
Elissa. . . .they can call and you can not make the decision
tina. . . .so why are you playing that role Steph, why don't you say "I don't know what to do"
Hanna. . . .Keep refusing.. eventually they'll have to make the choice or find someone else to do it, won't they?
Steph. . . .I guess I do it because....ummmm......I dont know why. lol
kybear. . . .habit?
Elissa. . . .but i know it's hard to change...sometimes scary
Elissa. . . .you don't know who you're supposed to be
Steph. . . .Maybe
Steph. . . .not decisions on life altering things....for example....
Steph. . . .where are we having thanksgiving dinner?
Steph. . . .Why is that up tp me? I dont care...as long as I eat.
Elissa. . . .steph have you tried being a baby lol
tina. . . .so you tell them where ever makes you happy we'll go there.
Steph. . . .It's like I am supposed to be the "head of the family" I dont want that job.
TF88. . . .steph, do you know about the broken record assertiveness technique?
Steph. . . .huh? no
TF88. . . .it's when you continually repeat with each request the same response...
TF88. . . .such as "I don't want to make that decision"
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TF88. . . .it stops manipulation
Steph. . . .ok....I think I can do that.
Steph. . . .I will try
TF88. . . .no matter what they say, you can respond with" I understand what you're saying. I don't want to make that decision"
Elissa. . . .good suggestion tf
Steph. . . .I was wondering if maybe somehow I brought this on myself,
Steph. . . .can't remember a time when I had to have it my way or else.
tina. . . .you probably did but not aware of it.
Deni. . . .hey Steph...maybe u are the most qualified for the job?
Deni. . . .ever think of that?
Steph. . . .They seem to think so...I just don't see it that way.
tina. . . .how old are you Steph?
Steph. . . .33
Steph. . . .not the oldest
tina. . . .how old are your children
Steph. . . .10 and 6
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Deni. . . .hi suwan
suwan. . . .:) Hi everyone
tina. . . .Hi suwan
Alisa. . . .hi Suwan
Elissa. . . .hi suwan!
Steph. . . .hello suwan
Marie1. . . .hi suwan
tina. . . .you must have shown responsible behavior early and people recognize that about you and they come to you for answers.
Elissa. . . .sometimes we get stuck in a role when we become reactive...everyone expects us to react in a certain way so we do and it just becomes a habit that's very hard to break
Steph. . . .exactly. They know that I will do it eventually.
TF88. . . .and when we change that habit, others can really resist it and try to force us back to where they are more comfortable
Steph. . . .You guys are just great!
TF88. . . .steph, my mother would gladly change places with you LOL She loves to make ALL decisions
Steph. . . .lol
Steph. . . .My Mom used to be like that...but she gave her crown to me after my Dad died.
Steph. . . .She used to make all family decisions...not anymore...now it is "whatever is fine with me"
Elissa. . . .TF that's sooo true. i tell that to clients all the time. when you change sometimes others get irritable or even angry because you're not who you're "supposed to be"
TF88. . . .sometimes they will even go so far as to manipulate with " What happened to you...you used to be so nice"
TF88. . . .anything to get you back into the spot that's familiar to them
Steph. . . .yea
Steph. . . .i agree
suwan. . . .yep lots of people liked me better when I was drinking! LOL
Elissa. . . .yep
tina. . . .you know Steph also try answering a question with a question so you can find out what they want and go from there.
Steph. . . .Oh, thats a good tool!
Steph. . . .I like that.
tina. . . .everyone has an idea on what they want.
TF88. . . .although not everyone will actually say what they want
Steph. . . .thats for sure
tina. . . .you are just finding out what they really want and direct them to that.
Steph. . . .I guess I am boring everyone here! lol
TF88. . . .I'm not bored
Elissa. . . .not at all steph...some good ideas are being pondered here
tina. . . .no not at all , it was boring before you started
Alisa. . . .not at all!
Elissa. . . .we have no agenda tonight
TF88. . . .Steph, I can suggest a book title about assertiveness techniques if you're interested
Steph. . . .very
TF88. . . ."When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" by Manuel Smith
Steph. . . .*getting pen*
Steph. . . .*jotting down title*
Steph. . . .:)
Steph. . . .thanks TF
TF88. . . .it's a great book...it showed me not only how to stop others from manipulating me, but showed me ways I was being manipulative myself
Steph. . . .guilt plays a huge role in this ya know
Steph. . . .My Mom does that to me
Steph. . . .God, I hate that
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Elissa. . . .hi cat!
Cat. . . .Hi
Steph. . . .hi cat
Deni. . . .hi cat
TF88. . . .well, my mom is a master manipulator...but I have learned a lot because of her behavior
Elissa. . . .TF do we have the same mom?
TF88. . . .lol
Steph. . . .Ya know....I could give advice on other peeps Moms all day... but when it comes to my own.... MAN!
Steph. . . .What is up with that I wonder?
kybear. . . .that's cause all moms got that evil eye that all kids fear...
tina. . . .it's because of your history together
Hanna. . . .Is master manipulator a role.. one that's learned.. or one that's chosen?
tina. . . .chosen I think
Steph. . . .learned and chosen I would think.
suwan. . . .or one that is picked up when dropped
TF88. . . .both I think...learned and chosen
Elissa. . . .one that's taken on because the person gets energy from doing it and it works maybe?
TF88. . . .personally I think it's a hunt for energy
Hanna. . . .You think people chose to become something they don't like others being?
Elissa. . . .good question hanna
Steph. . . .yes...They dont see it that way.
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Hanna. . . .Or do they learn to do it.. like Elissa said.. because you get energy from it?
Steph. . . .You for sure get energy from that. Maybe it is like a high?
Hanna. . . .Right TF.. it's a hunt.. and when you find a way that works.. you stick with it.
TF88. . . .and you perfect it hanna :)
TF88. . . .thus...a master!
Hanna. . . .Sure TF.. more bang for your buck.. lol
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Elissa. . . .hi sharr!
Sharross. . . .Hi 'lissa
Deni. . . .hi Sharr~~
Steph. . . .hi sharross!
TF88. . . .lol
kybear. . . .hi sharr
Sharross. . . .hi deni Hi steph Hey Ky
Elissa. . . .yep and it keeps you from making your own energy so you (or they) feel they need to continue trying to manipulate others
Steph. . . .feeling of power?
Elissa. . . .more of a need for energy to live i think
Hanna. . . .And you can't admit it.. because then you'd have to change.. and how would you get your energy then?
TF88. . . .true hanna!
TF88. . . .but there are great techniques to pick away at manipulation... we can't change others, but we can control our reaction to the manipulation
TF88. . . .and we can make sure we aren't feeding it
Alisa. . . .by empowering ourselves?
Steph. . . .changing the reaction is the key I think.
Hanna. . . .So how do you get people to learn to go within for their energy.. instead of looking for external ways to feed it?
Steph. . . .that is the hardest part I would imagine
TF88. . . .we can make sure our energy is not available for the taking
Elissa. . . .that's it tf... we don't have to buy into the game. but a lot of people think they're not being loving or spiritual or something if they don't let everyone walk all over them
Cat. . . .And there will always be people out there to feed on.
Steph. . . .*guilty as charged*
Steph. . . .there goes that word "guilt" again
Hanna. . . .lol
Elissa. . . .hanna first of all you stop playing their game but you still give them a little attention without malice or judgment
TF88. . . .and it's important to let them know they are being heard
Elissa. . . .for example, i don't talk to my mom very much any more but when i do i give her a little something positive and just let the rest go
Alisa. . . .ahhh,,,so saying "shut up and leave me alone" doesn't work.
Hanna. . . .lol!
Steph. . . .lol
TF88. . . .it works better to say "I want some quiet time please" LOL
kybear. . . .lol alisa
Steph. . . .I try that with the kids....NEVER works! lol
Elissa. . . .lol
Hanna. . . .But does that show them how to go within for energy.. which, imho, is the source for all energy?
Elissa. . . .it throws them back on their own resources
Elissa. . . .if they can't get it from you they either have to find another external or learn to go within...
Elissa. . . .if they can't do that it isn't your responsibility
Alisa. . . .I have a very rude brother in law
Alisa. . . .he senses I'm insecure
Hanna. . . .But Elissa.. if it's not our responsibility to try and help each other.. well.. dang, I don't know.. where do you draw the line in helping someone? It's hard.
Elissa. . . .it is hard, but i think we can all sense when someone is draining us and stop it there
Steph. . . .you can only give so much
Steph. . . .until it starts affecting your life in many different ways
Elissa. . . .yes
RevRandy. . . .Yep - you have to say - that is all I can give .....
TF88. . . .yes and giving is meaningless unless you are honestly choosing to be giving
Steph. . . .so true TF
RevRandy. . . .right TF
RevRandy. . . .what is demanded is never given in a true sense
Steph. . . .Some peeps like just to be "in the thick of things"
Steph. . . .not really "giving"
Hanna. . . .But Rev... if something is demanded.. is it sometimes that it just doesn't know how else to be asked for?
Hanna. . . .so how do we look past the 'demand'.. and see the true request behind it?
RevRandy. . . .I think we can sense the difference - and I am thinking of the expectational demand (you know you should have)
TF88. . . .I think the problem is when someone implies we "should want" to do such and such, instead of simply asking if we will do it
RevRandy. . . .and a test is when you retreat from "giving" it, is the change met with a request for renewal of effort or hostility
Steph. . . .assuming we will do it instead of just asking and then getting angry that we did not do it when it was never asked?
TF88. . . .well that's another one Steph...the old can't you read my mind trick :)
RevRandy. . . .can't read minds to know of wants, needs, feelings, etc
Steph. . . .yep
* Cat raises her hand. LOL
Cat. . . .Hanna will vouch for me.
Elissa. . . .yes cat?
Cat. . . .The "read my mind" thing.
Hanna. . . .lol cat!
TF88. . . .actually, i must admit, I got pretty good at reading minds due to my mom. It was sort of a survival technique.
Steph. . . .no kidding! Same here!
Elissa. . . .yes, me too. but i also got pretty good at not being me when i got caught up in her expectations...and she wouldn't even tell me what they were!
Hanna. . . .But couldn't the reaction to the retreat from giving something.. couldn't that also be a reaction to how we perceive ourselves? As a confirmation that we really aren't worthwhile?
Elissa. . . .good question hanna
RevRandy. . . .It could be - an evaluation of self - or the other
TF88. . . .I don't think I understand your question hanna...will you explain more?
Hanna. . . .I think most of us don't see ourselves in a really positive light, when it comes right down to it.
Hanna. . . .And a lot of times, it doesn't take much to reinforce that.
Hanna. . . .So when something is perceived as being 'withdrawn'.. it validates that we're not worthwhile enough to continue, or start, doing something for.
Hanna. . . .Just a thought. :)
RevRandy. . . .But, in a truly loving relationship, if we sense something is being withdrawn that is important to us, we can ask - and not project it onto ourselves
Hanna. . . .That would assume we have a truly loving relationship with ourselves, wouldn't it?
Steph. . . .Hey guys...just want to let you know how much I have enjoyed this...but it is past my bed time! Love and Peace to all
TF88. . . .night Steph :)
Sharross. . . .nite steph
Steph. . . .:)
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kybear. . . .night steph sweetest of dreams dear.. :)
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Elissa. . . .hi star!
Starseed. . . .hi....finally made it
kybear. . . .hi starseed.
Starseed. . . .: ))
Hanna. . . .I'm not talking about how much you love someone else.. you know that one.. but you focus on yourself and your own negative self-worth, because you assume that it's your fault?
RevRandy. . . .But we have to get past that self-blame view
Hanna. . . .We try Rev.. but we're only human.. and we have decades of years of roles that we've played.. and learned.. and been told.. and it's hard to let go of those, no?
RevRandy. . . .hard - but not impossible
TF88. . . .and it doesn't have to be overnight...we have forever :)
Starseed. . . .lol
Hanna. . . .Oh great tf.. remind us that if we can't get it this time.. we have to do it again! :P
TF88. . . .:P
Hanna. . . .haha
Deb. . . .:)
Alisa. . . .lol
kybear. . . .lol
RevRandy. . . .can I have forever and a half
RevRandy. . . .and when we find that the old patterns no longer bring us positive feelings - we need to either change, or get some help
Hanna. . . .Right Rev... old patterns/roles.. time to change.. keep working on letting them go.
Starseed. . . .sometimes ugly deep seated emotions rear up nasty stuff in us ....and we know we shouldnt feel this way
kybear. . . .sure Rev..
Elissa. . . .self-acceptance and trust are definitely the keys, but we're so externally focused so much of the time...i believe it's that need for outside energy that gets us in the you-know-what lol
TF88. . . .you know what's interesting it that although we tend to be externally focused, it's common to be accused of just the opposite
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Elissa. . . .o that's so true TF
RevRandy. . . .don't I know it
Hanna. . . .Right Elissa.. externally focused.. why we need to have 'roles' to get through the day.. to suck that energy. If only we could remember to go within more.. and find the energy there. no?
Elissa. . . .if you're not exuding energy all over the place you're cold, selfish and unfeeling lol
Starseed. . . .good angel bad angel lol
TF88. . . .LOL elissa
Hanna. . . .lol
Elissa. . . .yes hanna, and i think we're beginning to learn how that works for everyone's benefit in the long run
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Hanna. . . .So what happens when roles collide and you run out of energy to suck up? :(
Elissa. . . .i think sometimes you just need to go through a "down" time until you figure out a way to create your own energy...problem is that can be very uncomfortable
Hanna. . . .1-800-role-insurance?
Elissa. . . .hahahahahaha
Starseed. . . .lol @ Hanna
RevRandy. . . .and other around you resist that process -
TF88. . . .yes Elissa! I know exactly what you mean by that uncomfortable down time
Marie1. . . .oh my, i came back just in time to have that thought confirmed by that statement Elissa...wow
RevRandy. . . . 13,0(The Rev is off to some of his own "down" time) Blessings All!
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Seeker. . . .Hi room! What are we chatting about 2-nite?
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Elissa. . . .hi seeker
Seeker. . . .Hi Elissa
Elissa. . . .we're talking about roles and how people may use them to get energy from others
Seeker. . . .interesting...what types of roles?
TF88. . . .may I share a story?
Marie1. . . .yes TF, you may
TF88. . . .since we're being so quiet
Seeker. . . .absolutely TF
TF88. . . .I have a dear friend who teaches a special college program
TF88. . . .about living ethically with the environment
TF88. . . .each year, with the new students
TF88. . . .she has them write on a piece of paper for 10 minutes...
TF88. . . .starting each sentence with "I am"
TF88. . . .followed by each role they play in their lives
TF88. . . .she gives them all that time to consider their roles
TF88. . . .and then she speaks and says...
TF88. . . .Ok, now cross out everything you wrote accept the words "I am"
TF88. . . .That is were we will begin.
Alisa. . . .:)
Seeker. . . .and how do they begin TF?
TF88. . . .I think it's an interesting exercise
TF88. . . .seeker, they begin by thinking about what they really are
TF88. . . .which is not the roles they play
Seeker. . . .beyond the roles you mean...
TF88. . . .I should say "who they are"
TF88. . . .roles are roles...who we are is not our roles
TF88. . . .just like who we are is not our wage paying job
TF88. . . .our job is something we do, not who we are
Seeker. . . .oic - hard to make that distinction in a lot of cases though....ie: mothering
TF88. . . .being a mother is not who you are...being a nurturing person is though
TF88. . . .it can be so hard to see ourselves past our roles
Starseed. . . .good point TF88
Seeker. . . .oh yeah? lol
TF88. . . .LOL
Seeker. . . .think i lost the me in -oth- r
Seeker. . . .: I)
Elissa. . . .that's great tf...wonderful way to begin the process
TF88. . . .I think those kids are lucky to have such a wonderful teacher
TF88. . . .and she adores those kids
Starseed. . . .good exercise
Seeker. . . .sounds like a really interesting exercise - think i'll try it on my day off tomorrow
TF88. . . .I was disappointed one day when my little niece came to me and told me "who she is" by describing all her roles
TF88. . . .she had been studying this in school
Seeker. . . .well, it's a beginning for her TF, just like the exercise
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Seeker. . . .i'm sure you had her look deeper...
TF88. . . .but nowhere in her description of herself was anything about HER...just what she does
Elissa. . . .oooo that reminds me of one of my pet peeves...people who ask little kids "what are you going to be when you grow up?"
journey. . . .tf, she is lucky to have you to help her look for the truth
TF88. . . .right elissa!
Hanna. . . .Little kids? How about big kids?
TF88. . . .lol
Elissa. . . .hahahaha true
Seeker. . . .how about me? lol
XkuRUx. . . .What is happening here tonight? any speakers?
Hanna. . . .lol.. me too!
Elissa. . . .hi Xku! no speakers, just us chatting
suwan. . . .well hanna you have to admit, some people are slow starters!
Hanna. . . .no xku.. just chatting and pondering life's roles.
XkuRUx. . . .Elissa-oh ok. I waz just wondering why everyone gathered here
TF88. . . .I need to go...thank you all for listening to me chatter away :)
TF88. . . .I really enjoyed the chat tonight...light and love
Sharross. . . .nite TF
Alisa. . . .nite TF:)
journey. . . .nite tf :)
kybear. . . .night tf sweet dreams
Deb. . . .Nite TF
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XkuRUx. . . .Hanna-sounds complicated :o)~
Hanna. . . .Sure is Xku.. but interesting.. just like life! lol
kybear. . . .yup that she can be lol
XkuRUx. . . .HAnna- Touche
Hanna. . . .Maybe people shouldn't have an 'end' in mind.. maybe it's the journey that's more important?
Seeker. . . .right hanna
Seeker. . . .and those we meet along the way
Hanna. . . .Do you have to grow up and 'be' something.. can't you grow up and 'be' someone?
Seeker. . . .do we have to grow up ? :)
Hanna. . . .A well-rounded person, grateful for each day, appreciative of friends and family? Content with what you have chosen?
Seeker. . . .contentment is the goal...
Seeker. . . .peace
Hanna. . . .Why all the external expectations?
Seeker. . . .that's society - as opposed to human
Starseed. . . .that would be not looking over your shoulder or ahead down the road..... i think you may have something Hanna
Starseed. . . .living on a non linear time frame
Seeker. . . .sounds kinda scary starseed - our sermon at church was about that today
Starseed. . . .living in the moment.....Tis a good thing
Seeker. . . .we live in linear time frames, but it is all really a circle...
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kelliegirl. . . .hi room
Seeker. . . .hi kellie
Starseed. . . .hi kellie
kelliegirl. . . .hi seeker and starseed
Elissa. . . .we learn as children that we need to do what others want and expect and by the time we know better and can be on our own, we have given away so much of ourselves that it's often hard to know who we are
XkuRUx. . . .someone in another chat just talked about that a little while ago
XkuRUx. . . .That's What i SAID LOL
Hanna. . . .lol
Elissa. . . .lol
kelliegirl. . . .new here, what's this room about please...
Seeker. . . .just chatting kellie - no specific topic
kelliegirl. . . .oh, ok thanks....
Seeker. . . .welcome
XkuRUx. . . .Kellie-life i guess
Seeker. . . .we were just discussing the loss of self...by society's demands to BE something
kelliegirl. . . .is this also about anyone who has had a loss??
Seeker. . . .have you had a loss, kellie?
kelliegirl. . . .yes
Seeker. . . .i'm sorry - want to talk about it?
kelliegirl. . . .I lost a very dear friend of mine last May..
Seeker. . . .you were very close?
kelliegirl. . . .yes
Seeker. . . .do you still feel her/his presence?
kelliegirl. . . .I'd like to think so... not sure...
Seeker. . . .but you're missing him/her....
kelliegirl. . . .yes, very much so
kelliegirl. . . .her
Seeker. . . .those that are close to us in this life, remain w/us kellie - truly!
Starseed. . . .very true Seeker
Seeker. . . .sometimes i'm overcome w/sadness but i know it's because my grandmother is close to me... i can feel it\makes me feel better again
kelliegirl. . . .I'm trying every day is a struggle
Seeker. . . .do you have anyone you can speak to about your friend?
kelliegirl. . . .my fiancee', but he's kind of spockish sometimes... lol, no emotion...
Seeker. . . .lol - maybe he tries not to upset you w/emotion...
kelliegirl. . . .may be..
Seeker. . . .what about her family or other friends... someone who was close to her?
kelliegirl. . . .I've called her family to stay in touch...
Seeker. . . .how does that feel?
kelliegirl. . . .good I guess...
Seeker. . . .there is no set time table on grief, kellie....give yourself time & talk to your friend. Believe me, she will hear you.
Marie1. . . .{{{{{{{{{kelliegirl}}}}}}}}}}}]
kelliegirl. . . .I go thru a range of emotions... why????? and anger... sadness, then numbness.
kelliegirl. . . .it doesn't make sense...
Seeker. . . .All part of the healing process, kellie..don't fight them....it WILL get better, hon
kelliegirl. . . .ty seeker, I'll try...
kelliegirl. . . .I get so nasty to (hubby to be), and I think it's all part of it...
kelliegirl. . . .he tells me I'm my worst enemy
Seeker. . . .i know it must be hard but
Seeker. . . .find some YOU time...even if it's alone in bed at night, and feel, remember, & love your friend..
kelliegirl. . . .I'll try seeker.. thank you..
Seeker. . . .you're welcome (((kellie))) - good luck!
Elissa. . . .thank for coming tonight guys! i really enjoyed the discussion
suwan. . . .ah I see the rev has arrived home!
kybear. . . .lol suwan
Hanna. . . .lol
kelliegirl. . . .thanks for your support room... it means a lot...
kybear. . . .kellie just remember to be kind to yourself and give your self time to process the feelings dear
kelliegirl. . . .bye for now.. love and light to you all....
kybear. . . .night sweet dreams
Seeker. . . .night kellie - take care hon
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Seeker. . . .well, room, guess i'll call it a night myself....
kybear. . . .night seeker sleep well
Elissa. . . .nite seeker. good to see you again
*** Seeker has quit IRC (QUIT: )
suwan. . . .so, as I was saying......
Elissa. . . .lol suwan
kybear. . . .yes mean while back at the ranch?
Elissa. . . .do go on!
kybear. . . .oh yes please pretty please..
kybear. . . .with cool whip and cherries on top
kybear. . . .and punkin pie under that :)
Deb. . . .OK thats it pie time :)
kybear. . . .ok go for it deb hahahahahaha
kybear. . . .get another one for me and suwan as well
Deb. . . .going for the pumpkin :)
kybear. . . .I GOT THE COOL WHIP
Hanna. . . .Geez... pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin!!!! *stomps foot* It's always about pumpkin!
Deb. . . .Back :) ummmmm ummmm good
kybear. . . .that's it.. i'm after one now too hahahaha brb..
Deb. . . .hahaha
suwan. . . .:( I dont have any
Deb. . . .ahhhhhh :(
Hanna. . . .Well good.. I'm not alone then!
Deb. . . .Hahahahaha
Elissa. . . .goodnight everyone! please stay and chat but i need to go.
suwan. . . .night elissa
Deb. . . .Nite Elissa
suwan. . . .we'll turn out the lights when we leave
Elissa. . . .ok love you all!
Hanna. . . .Night 'lissa! :)
Session Close: Sun Nov 28 23:12:04 1999

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Last Update: 5/18/2013
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the Rev Dr Randolph and Elissa Bishop Becker, M.Ed., LPC, NCC
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