Living and Enjoying

The Wizard's balloon that was to take Dorothy home breaks free when Dorothy leaves it to retrieve Toto, who jumped out to chase a cat. Dorothy is left behind feeling lost and helpless. Then Glinda arrives in her bubble.

Dorothy (to Glinda): O will you help me... can you help me?
Glinda: You don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas.
Dorothy: I have!?
Scarecrow: Then why didn't you tell her before?
Glinda: Because she wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.
Tin Woodman: What have you learned, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Well, I... I think that it... that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em. And it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again I won't look any further than my own backyard, because if it isn't there I never really lost it to begin with. Is that right?
Glinda: That's all it is!


Excerpt from The Wizard of Oz, © 1939 Loew's Incorporated. Renewed © 1966 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Inc.

"So, look outside. What is that area. Backyard. And if it isn't there, you never lost it... but you've lost it many times. But seriously, folks... field, web of being; yes, your backyard is part of that. And so if it isn't there, it's not in your web. Too many people look for what they think they lost, but it was from someone else's web or field. Your field and another connect, yes. You hear stories about the other. That doesn't mean it's in your backyard. It's in theirs. There is an old story about dogs in
Levittown who went crazy trying to find bones they had buried in look-alike backyards.

"So, when we feel loss we have to be able to know what we lost; not just what we think we lost. True, what we think we lost is real in a way, but being able to so differentiate allows us a better understanding of ourselves and our field. As we find out what of our feelings is not us, we also find us.

"Suppose someone is looking to transform their family into
the Cleavers... no, not Eldridge. They feel they lost out on their childhood. But hey, there is only one Beaver... and it ain't you, babe. Everyone gets a childhood, so you can't have lost it. It might not look like everyone else's, but it's yours. So, too, with every search for Paradise Lost. Aha. You never lived in Eden. That's someone else's story. And this also applies to dreams and hope. If it isn't yours you can't lose it, and if it is not yours you can't be it. Maximize your reality within the field of your being. And conversely, when others try to load their stuff on you, it is not yours either. So when someone suggests you've lost it because you mourn too long, how do they know you've lost it when it wasn't yours but theirs to begin with. I theenk thees ees eenough.

"Go back only to find your own roots, not those of others. And you'll know when you overreach your field. It will feel foreign, even as you may artificially push toward it. When someone sees your field as theirs, probe their experiential history. If they really lost it, they can tell you about when they had it, and if not... wellll. To deal with realities--no matter how hard or painful or seemingly empty--is still better than chasing dreams, illusions, and chimeras which appear in the mind's delusions as full and rich and promising, but which--by their unreality in that life--are but façades for void, abyss, and nothingness. For they stand as cardboard faces on realities that aren't yours. Look behind them and there is not only no backyard of yours, but since it is distortion of someone else's backyard, it's not there either. You see, it's not real for you. What you suppose is there is not real for either you or them. So it is empty. Absolutely empty. Don't go there. Turn back. Your real pain and loss is infinitely better than the pain of that emptiness." (2/12/2000 - O#35)



"3 thoughts: I forgive myself, I forgive others, I begin again in love. Letting go, letting others go, proceeding in love. It's a spring theme. Each spring, the world, having been scarred by all the seasons, starts again. It accepts itself as it is. It buries what others have done to it. And it begins again in loveliness. That's it." (3/18/2000 - O#36)



"A great struggle occurs in the midst of grief between probable realities, and the human course of emotions calls us to focus on the road not taken. So much of the grief is about what might have been but is not. And the problem is that we know this, but compound our perceptions of guilt about our roles in the loss with our knowledge of our focus on unreality.

"So when one in grief speaks about feeling guilty, and talks about what they should have done, two tapes are playing: One about should haves and one about now--when they are focusing on trying to deny the loss, and not on trying to live with the reality. The only escape from this is reality. And, unless we are talking about murderers, then no one caused it who needs to blame self. So what if is a way to avoid the reality of loss. And accepting the reality of loss is the only way to have a continuation of the relationship.

"I give you a less tragic version: Son about to be married to someone who is not parents' first choice. At reception, parents have choice to dwell on what might have been, and thus lose relationship with son as he is. Or they can relate to son as he is--even with the reservations and sense of loss and pain. So, too, with death. When a person dies--or a duck, for that matter--we can either grieve and relate to their presence in our lives as real dead people... or ducks, as appropriate to the species... or we can deny the reality and avoid the loss and continue to put them in their own past, and that would not be good. If the question is what if, that's about the past. If the question is now what, that is about the present... and remember, you get a future worth having only by being present and looking forward.

"Another example: Couple suffers miscarriage. If they focus on that loss, they will not find the gift of the child waiting to be added to their lives through birth or adoption. And people know this but cannot act on it, so they feel guilty about dwelling there. But they see it as guilt about what might have been, when in fact it is about what might be. Ok. So that's the story... of a man named
Brady.

"In grief, we often mistake the elements and assume it is all about the loss, but much of it is also about our reaction to the loss. And our reactions we can control, but our losses we cannot. We mistake them because, at this spiritual level, we are still sorting out physical versus spiritual realities. In the human sphere, we live on the line between knowledge of this and ignorance. And in that land of comprehending and not, we cannot differentiate often. We are hard wired with emotions and physical realities connected more than spiritual ones. And now a quiz. How many quarts in a peck. None, only a duck. I gotta go." (3/22/2000 - O#37)



"So maybe more some guilt about... not fear you. Guilt and fear have been linked by religions because, in fact, they are linked. In many people, guilt becomes the familiar feeling accepted in exchange for fear--which, no matter how often, can never feel familiar. Now let's unpack this... no, not the picnic lunch.

"What is the origin of fear. A sense of not being in control, things happening to one. Ok, and what is the source of guilt. A sense that one had complete control of the situation. Two ends of the same pole. And since ambiguity is so hard to deal with any time, and especially so in stress, we flee from the fear possibilities to the guilt certainties rather than live out of control and uncertain. The path back from guilt is the path through our fears. You can't get out of guilt without dealing with those fears. And that's enough more say now to." (3/25/2000 - O#38)



"What makes a fool. And what tricks has life played on you. And into that bring the image of the
Trickster: not bad, not good, just paradoxical and enigmatic. And so we find that April 1 is about ambiguity. And tricks remind us that, while life as a whole offers meaning through our capacity to learn and remember, in any given moment it is more perplexing than meaningful. And one of the tricks of life is that we do not see the pieces until we grasp the whole.

"So a series of ambiguous moments may add up to momentous understanding. Can anyone relate to that. 'Yes, anyone... anyone... anyone. And then the U.S. sank deeper into the Great Depression.' But I use
the quote mindfully. When we look for meaning in the small pieces and not the grand sweep, we fall into depression. What depresses people spiritually is that they do not sense a growing meaning in the moment. Faith speaks to a larger understanding that beyond the tricks of nature there is meaning. And faith is not about a belief in a particular set of meanings, but about there being a set of meanings in every life.

"When you approach life with a microscope, you look so hard at minute details that you lose the bigger picture. This happens in grief. And if you look at life through a telescope, then it is seen at a distance and seems removed--which is the response of some in grief. But when we can restore a 1-to-1 ratio of viewpoint, then we move towards understanding. Too close and we think it is all personal, and too distant and we think it is all devoid of meaning. Not scientific or objective, shmective... it is more a question of perspectives. If you don't sense the whole picture, that's not good. And if you remove yourself from the whole picture, no better. Look, if you are part of All That Is, then you better be there. And if All That Is cannot exist without you, you better show up.

"Recovery from loss is about reestablishing a 1:1 ratio with life--equal terms, partners, compadres, amigos--rather than looking at life as an antagonist, or at yourself as a victim. Which is why loss is multiply-part. We lose someone physically, and we also lose the relationship we had with life itself. When we are in a good ratio, it is as if we were married to life. But come a loss or death, and we also have to deal with the breakup of our marriage with life. It's like the loved one left, and our supportive partner also decided to leave. And that's the trick of it. Life didn't leave us, we left it and need to find our way back. Whoa. So, that's enough.

"Tricks of life are only tricks until we integrate ourselves and them into a larger perspective. People talk about a cruel twist of fate, but it is cruel only if we think it is, and it is a twist or trick of fate only if we view it that way. And usually that means we try to impose our view of causation on a situation without causation. Ok, grad students,
correlation is not causation. And when we learn and remember that, ahhh. So, enough." (3/29/2000 - O#39)



"Hey, that's life. Every slate filled with sorrow and joy. Free will is not about choosing what will happen, but about choosing how one will see it. One person's tragedy is another's whatever. I cried because I had no feet, until I met a man who had no
Adidas. He lacked something I would never lack. But you know, some people grieve the lack of things that they cannot use. Good formula for a miserable life. Like the person who wants a cat but is allergic to cats. Like duh get over it. Have an iguana instead.

"I am wonderous and splendiferous and awesome. Sure there are might have beens, but if I lived longer there would have been just as many. There always are. So I celebrate what was, not what wasn't. Can't pine for the concerts you miss, but revel in the memories of the ones you made. That is the wisdom of us
grateful dead... and all... and even him." (5/10/2000 - O#40)



At a chat session on
Mothers:

"Ok, guys, listen up. You have all been born, and you will all die... and be born again... and again and again. Life is a whole, and to discount any part of it is to discount life... and to discount life is to discount who you are. You are the sum total of all you experience, the sum total of all you feel and hope and dream and do. Embrace it all and you embrace yourself... not only yourself but others, and not only others but the universe and that which the future contains for all of us.

"I know loss is hard and painful, but in the midst of the pain you feel, you need to also feel the fullness that is contained in every moment of life... or you will miss life. Life as a whole, as a sum of the pain and the joy, is where you must be if you are to move forward. So, cry your tears and then wipe them away and laugh at the absurdity and insanity and wonder of it all. Your children are not gone, your children and your parents are always here and always with you. And so am I.

Tonight I send my deepest and most grateful love to all of you who have gathered in this room on Sunday evenings to listen and learn from me and my 2 mothers, ha. Feel my love and my admiration and respect for your openness, and move into tomorrow with joy. Thank you, and goodnight." (5/14/2000 - O#41)



"Change comes, and you either ride with it or get left for another future change. Enigmatic? Winds blow. Only the grains of sand who tired of the desert seek the beach. Cryptic? You can't get where you are going standing still. Dare to struggle, dare to win... ooops, that's now. To be in transition is never easy, but those who fear the bus ride get left at the bus station, and there ain't no worse place than a bus station at a midnight of the soul. Veiled? I've got a ticket to ride. Don't be surprised when the future you get is not the one you expected, but welcome the one you get because it is yours. But remember the future you shape is better than the future you inherit... and much better than the one you get by default.

"Be an active agent in changes, or life as you could have it will pass you by. Time moves faster on taxi meters. A pint of blood you give is larger than a pint of ice cream you buy. I am wandering. Ok, I'm back. The future is already known, but not which future will be the one each of you experience. You get them all, but will this consciousness get this one or that. Opportunities to choose. And each choice made or not made sends you along a different path. Some take you on different routes to the same place, others take you somewhere else. I theeenk that is enough.

"You can't get there by being who you have pretended to be--as in, pretense as opposed to what really matters. Figure out what is essential, and then give on all else... not give in, but be flexible, pliant, supple. The best dancers are always both strong and fluid. We mistake strength with solidity and rigidity, but the strongest planes have the most flexible wings. Rivers sharply defined overflow, while rivers of a relaxed bank can rise and fall without damage. Get it? Nothing is set in stone, but each day you wield hammer and chisel and etch a bit more permanently. Do so with heart and soul and mind. It's hard to go back and erase deeply cut lines. Certainty is the refuge of the timid. And daring, though risky, is the portal to wondrous things. I hope I have been obscure." (5/20/2000 - O#42)



"Control is an illusion. Therefore all arguments about it are illusionary, and only serve the control needs of the writers--both pro and con. It is an attempt to control to argue. There is no control. If you really believed beyond control, you would just get on with it, not try to convert others. Methinks they are confused. Does a leash control a dog... Arrrrf... or the leash-holder. It creates a new entity which has internal consistency called a leash, but the image of control is shattered when the dog pulls the person down the street... rrrrrrrrr... or the person pulls the dog down the street... FFFFFF. You see, there is no control, just the assumption of it.

"Ok, another thought. Would the dog... aaaarf... be more controlled if the rope were 4 inches thick, no. What if it were half as thick, no. One one-thousand as thick, no. So it could become infinitely thin, which is the same as not being there at all. That's enough. I have had enough. I need to walk my dog... rrrrrf. We walk together, but not always in the same place, ha." (5/24/2000 - O#43)



"To doubt the whole of existence is a prelude to moving fully into the new world beyond the loss.

"The theme of doubt as related to loss is important. When profound loss occurs, people often seem to doubt everything they had taken for granted and all they had valued, and that's desirable. If we tried to exist in the new situation without change, we'd deny the loss, and hence the prior value.

"Look, when summer goes, you can only deal with winter by dealing with the loss and change--or else you shovel snow in a bathing suit... brrrrr. And sitting around moping does not a winter experience make. And that summer will never come again; others will, but not that one. And you can't even appreciate the other summers unless you let go. Doubt another will come as good, and then live joyously when it does... aha. We only start to meet the new friends in life when we stop focusing on the old and departed ones. You only get to the future by looking ahead. Who said that... me, that's right." (6/17/2000 - O#44)



"Holding other things in terror is a way of not letting go of what is no longer needed. Addictions are often about holding on to the drugs or booze to avoid having to let go of other things: I will lose myself but keep these things of the past. Ironically tragic. Ponder that... and have a drink.

"We become hooked or fixated on this to avoid the potential loss of that. Replacement therapy puts us back in right relation to what we have displaced. Replacement is not about substitution, but about restoring a position of relationship--re-placing. And it would not matter so much if we had not been placed before. New territory is always easier, if even scarier, than old territory avoided. Ponder that, too." (6/20/2000 - O#45)



"Take a look at the concept of freedom in relation to one's inherent freedom and the vagaries of life and death. Freedom has to do with response, not always with choice. When your loved one died, did you feel free or a lack of freedom. Did the world seem deterministic or still open for free will. If pizza were free, would some people complain about the quality of the pepperoni. So if grace is free, do some people complain about the quality of life. And that's enough." (6/27/2000 - O#46)



"We got caught on an off-ramp near the Axis of Fear, but CT was brave and we found our way.
Have you ever been lost near the Axis of Fear. Some just sit on the side of the road and cry, and some pretend they are not there, and some just deal. We dealt and then played 3 hands and then left. Remember, when you deal you gotta play. Enough epigrams." (8/27/2000 - O#47)



"Here's a hint: Trust is linear, faith is global, hope is chaotic. You can't predict hope or hope's outcome, but it's there." (8/27/2000 - O#48)



"Living is never just biology. But while you are in your bodies, they become messengers. So listen to them. Enjoy them... and the idea of enjoyment not being just pleasure, but being fulfillment. Hey, it hurts like hell to climb a mountain--not really pleasurable, but fulfilling, so enjoyable. Get it. If it confirms you as you have been, that's not enjoyment. When it opens you to your becoming, that's enjoyment.

"So hedonism is not living and enjoying. Hedonism is a step back to where pleasure has been before. Living and enjoying is about stepping into what can be with fullness. It taps more into the natural abundance. Hint: Enjoyment is about abundance, or the faith in abundance. Pleasure is about scarcity. Sometimes people seek pleasure, but something more breaks through. If it doesn't, then the pleasures become jaded, faded, boring. But if they admit to enhancement, well then they continue to be enjoyable. With that, I go." (9/30/2000 - O#49)



At a chat session on
Living and Enjoying:

"Hi hi. It's me. Hi. Now, breathe deeply. Inspiring is breathing in, and inspiring is being filled with spirit. While you are in the physical, your body can teach you many lessons. It can be a messenger between spirit and physical. It is not spirit, but it can translate some of what spirit is into linear terms you can understand. It can be a temple, yes, but only if the temple is a venue for connection with spirit.

"Your body can bring you enjoyment, but that is not the same thing as pleasure. It may be pleasurable to pass your days reclining on a sofa, but that will bring your body to a state of dissolution and weakness. And is that enjoyment. I theeenk not. So, to enjoy you must push yourself beyond the limits of what is pleasurable. It may not be pleasurable to lift heavy weights, but when they make you stronger, you are able to enjoy what your body can do more fully. So enjoyment is not about the here and now, but about the then and how do I get there. And in the then is the abundance of possibility. That's all.

"Watching the Olympics may be pleasurable, but it won't get you the joy of
lighting that blazing torch. Remember the difference. And remember that in order to breathe in, you must breathe out. Ponder that. And now I must go. Love and hugs. Goodbye. Come, Sandy." (10/1/2000 - O#50)



"Let's get serious, serious, serious. Paradise is never just a place; it is an attitude and an experience. An attitude of what, you ask. I'm glad you asked. It is an attitude of expectancy without fear. Simple as that. Expectancy without fear.

"Hey, paradise is living with an ultimate yet realistic faith. And it is an experience of what, you ask. Glad you asked. It is the ultimate experience of abundance, because when you truly embrace abundance as a living experience, then you also can expect the most fulfilling. So people spend their lives looking for paradise instead of experiencing it. It ain't anywhere if it ain't in you. So, a quiz: Are you going to eat in
Paradise tonight? Put a seat for me then, haha... arrrf... and a plate on the floor for Sandy... ARF ARF.

"But here's another thought. If paradise is a place, then it either is in your past or present or future. And the only one that can be real for you is the present, so it can't be anywhere else. So don't look backwards with nostalgic longing and loss, and don't don't don't start back there. And don't think it will come someday by some magic formula or deus ex deus. Don't don't don't go there. But look for hints, glints, glimmers, shimmers, slivers, shards, and bits in everything now. If it isn't already, it also is not yet. So keep that hint for tonight. But what pith!" (3/5/2001 - O#51)



"If one has a sense of abundance, then sufficiency seems like enough. If one has no, or a limited, sense of abundance, then sufficiency will always feel like scarcity. That's the answer to how the Venetians live... and why the rest of Italy thinks they are lazy because they are not striving, because when you have enough, you don't need to strive. Live and strive have the same ending, but not the same start. To truly live, one must begin with a sense of sufficiency and abundance. All else is trying to catch up. Watch strangers in any city. They run for buses and boats as if it is the last one. But those who know understand there'll be another in a short time. Same in life.

"Their families--and I don't just mean mom and dad--are always there for them. Who they are is respected, and no one career choice is better than another. If the simplest position has the same life support as the wealthiest, then the difference is only personal, not social. So more ordinary wine gets drunk than fancy vintages, but everyone gets a good glass. And no one has a private life, but all lives are respected. Not acceptable is disrespect, which includes thievery and violence... and tourists (German tourists) who are too private and not enough public. So ponder that. I ask you a question: Which do you want, more money than you need or more time to enjoy life." (7/13/2001 - O#52)



"Think about this: Nothing gets lost, because otherwise all the lost stuff would be somewhere. Where is it? Can't lose it. Misplace, yes; lose, no." (2/28/2002 - O#53)



"Keep in mind that you don't leave where you are simply to resolve problems. Something to think about: You are looking for a venue for your heart's desire, not your heart's desire. Don't confuse process and content... and don't confuse Stilton and Gorgonzola." (6/16/2002 - O#54)



"And now, here I am. Hi. Just cavorting with Mr. Grace, the graceful CT. He's so light on his feet, but so are we all. Sandy says we should take off our feet, but I think not. But we don't have feet. Being spiritual is confusing after being physical. You think you are hungry because some sensation is noticed, but then you realise it's not hunger but just interest. You want to know, not eat. But some never get it, and they spend a lot of time thinking they should eat. They think they need to eat, which just takes energy. Can't remember squat when you only are thinking hunger. They don't get much out of here, but most of them did not get much out of there either.

"Truth be told, you can tell the truth and some will still ask, 'Where are the potatoes.' Do you know how many had a chance to dine with the Buddha but chose to eat at some rich table instead. Too many. And, as I always said, I don't need 3 meals a day... but I do need 4 tablespoons of sugar, please.

"It's a matter of letting the cravings rule the desires. Everyone is addicted to something--just too few are to life and love and learning. Too many think life is about survival. But isn't it interesting that more sages and saviors and prophets come from situations of survival than from seeming abundance. Rich capitalism has yet to produce a great sacred figure... at least until now, tee hee. Let's go shopping." (7/16/2002 - O#55)



"Ok, here's the answer for the day. What's it like over here? It's _________. Got that? So you got it. We can translate, but that only goes so far. But this much is certain: no harps. And every physical thing you can imagine is not.

"But a few serious thoughts. No one should fear death, but fearing dying sometimes makes sense for those who have not lived. And living is not about years, but about depth. Not having your act together is ok. If you did, you wouldn't be here... or there, so to speak. Never worry about what comes next, but never desire it either. Let it all flow, and don't get upset when it seems like it is not flowing but just happening. I know the accident did not seem like flow to you, or even to me then, but to the water droplet that enters the sea from the Saint Lawrence,
the drop over Niagara Falls seems just a part of the flow--even though at the time ayeeee. And you can't flow from Chicago to the Atlantic without that experience. What most religions try to pretend they can give is eternal life without the experience of death. Ha.

"It's all flow... even though it may seem unlike it. To the ant, the tiny bump you don't notice is a mountain. And spiritually, what to you seems the greatest challenge is to us here nothing more than nothing--a mere grain of concern. But back when I was physical, I remember getting all bent out of shape by things I don't even worry about now... like flesh-colored bandaids. Chill, folks. Someone should market
Smurf flesh-colored ones. It's all superficial... except for that, and when you know what that is, aha. So, see ya around. Hey, the journey is just starting." (8/20/2002 - O#56)



"Remember, meaning is rarely found in what we possess, but only in what possesses us." (2/7/2003 - O#57)




"A sleight-of-spirit move: Take one of your issues, and explore what might make someone feel that, and see if that awakens an inherent sense of remembered self. You could begin to explore previous lives with some seemingly innocuous things like 'Does it ever feel to you like these feelings are coming from some life other than yours.' 'If you can't see the reason for these feelings and reactions in your life, where do you think they might be coming from.' It's always possible that it's a leftover issue, or that in looking for leftover, you will uncover something in this life." (4/7/2003 - O#58)



"Being connected and being bound are not the same. You should always feel free enough that if a path beckons, you can follow." (5/26/2003 - O#59)



"What if Fingal had owned a mountain instead.
Mendelssohn's overture would not be the same, but would it be better or worse. Neither, just different. So, too, with life. What ifs do not yield really better alternatives, and the delusion of such can promote the illusion of worse. By thinking things could have been better, we create the illusion of what therefore was worse than could have been.

"Ok, I get personal. At age 20, I decide I am too tired to watch two guys hit each other, so I stay home. And then when I'm 21, I get the painful type of lingering cancer and die over 5 years. But if we value an alternative to my death in the car, we say it is the poorer outcome... but who knows. And few people who speculate ever speculate about worse outcomes. And the worst is that you won't ever die, and have to stay stuck forever... ugh.

"The great web contains all possibilities, but the only one you have is your present one--informed by all the rest, but not replaced by any of the rest. And I rest my case. Your witness!

"Informed by all the rest, not determined... or not. If one of those other possibilities is a blank, does it inform, too? Of course. Avoid this or consider that. The nagging uh-oh sense: It can be a summons to consider how what has happened might play out. Yes, you may play out... ARF. Ok, that's that then." (6/20/2003 - O#60)




"Remember, the bouquet of real freedom is more intoxicating than any illusion of dominance. I give a simple example... a metaphor, tee hee. The only person not free in a game of King of the Hill is the king. Everyone else can do what they wish, but the king is bound in that role. Trying to be number one leaves one with few options; settling for anything less gets you so much more!

"The Swiss, long ago, said they wouldn't play, and have been free ever since. Is there any free will in
Manifest Destiny. Once a person or a nation buys into determinism, watch out! So, that's my spiel." (7/4/2003 - O#61)



"Not every serious thing should be taken seriously. It's ok to lighten up. You aren't judged by how serious you were, but by how well you you were. So, unless you think your defining trait is seriousness, you'll be seriously not yourself. Hi and welcome to another life!

"Taking life seriously doesn't mean you get it. Hint: Philosophers are no more fully realized than anyone else. And comedians are no less so. Maybe you are there to find your smile <grin>! or work on it by practicing it often... hehehehehehheehhee. That's my Point to Ponder for this call.

"If All That Is is a great chuckle, you don't want to miss it." (2/22/2004 - O#62)




"Most people want confirmation, not challenge. And those who get with us through loss want to be assured of what they've found, not of what they have yet to explore, because the loss was so painful they want to avoid other change--which is, as we all know, loss. So 'Confirm what I have learned so far through my losses, but don't push me to maybe lose more.'

"How comfortable we become with our healing, and don't notice the scar tissue. Scars are hard and without pores.

"People need to realize that having changed doesn't mean they're open to change. And not all the world's lessons will be understood in one session. Most people want confirmation without change, like spiritual
accidental tourists: 'I'll go if I can keep it the same.'

"And don't focus on those who don't get it. Know the role of the catalyst. Also, know the role of the cattle prod... moooo." (3/5/2004 - O#63)



"Every place deserves to be explored... even places that are not physical. If you think you've seen it or it isn't worth seeing, you are going to miss out on too much.

"Being where you are is like many events of life. You can't choose what will happen, but you can choose how you will react. Some people are miserable everywhere and some are happy everywhere. Which would you rather be?" (6/7/2004 - O#64)



"Happy I-Day. Independence is never about finding a way to say I but to say we within a larger circle. We become freed of what is outmoded and what binds us rather than liberates us, but it is not independence to shake off the shackles... grrrr... without having newer and more inclusive connections in mind. Of course, when fettered we may not see all the possibilities, but we have to see some. Otherwise our independence is only reaction, not creativity.

"And for all our Canadian friends, Happy Just Another Sunday! And to all of our canine friends, Happy No Leash Day... arrf. And to CT, Happy Whatever.

"So, be careful of that from which you free yourself; it might just be your self. Not all limits are to be forsaken; some are the boundaries of necessary learning. Free yourself before you have learned and remembered, and you'll get to know those boundaries intimately--over and over and over and out... roger. Ponder... and party.

"And for all our Canadian friends, party like it's TGWNA (Thank God We're Not Americans). But you have something to learn by being whatever. Nationalities and spiritualities have no coincidence." (7/4/2004 - O#65)



"All is forgiven. No, I really mean it: All is forgiven. That's today's pith. Ok, let's break it down... wham! CT!

"Short of All, there is no perfection. Every entity goofs up now and then. Now and then? Ok, often. How you gonna learn if you don't err... urr. Gotta risk making mistakes to get it right, or else all you have is somebody else's right or some other time's right--but not yours. So, trial and error... and so, error.

"Now, 3 possibilities: No forgiveness, you err... no, urr... and you die! entitywise. So don't risk and don't try and don't fail and don't learn, and die. Or try and risk and fail and die... ugh... it would wind down to nada. All spiritual evolution and all spiritual persistence would s-l-o-w-l-y g-r-i-n-d t-o a h-a-l-t. So no forgiveness is not the way.

"Ok, how about some forgiveness... but how much, for what, by whom. Limited forgiveness implies either clear rules, which can't exist in unknown territory, or rules which are about the past. So rules are out, and that leaves some agent of decision... ok, God or whatever. But... and here's a big but... who gives forgiveness to the agent, because all decisions are risky. So even the Supreme is judged by the more Supreme, and where that ends I don't know... chaos.

"So we are left with neither no forgiveness nor limited forgiveness. So, must be all is forgivable. And the trick is to see it is not that all is forgiven, but forgivable. And who does the forgiving? Next week we will discuss another topic. Ok, I will say it: You are the agents of your own forgiveness--which then implies responsibility, not redemption; respect, not salvation. Pithy, eh. Ok, I could go on forever... but I won't." (8/3/2004 - O#66)



“When you reach out, don’t grab. Offer the chances, but don’t rue the disappointments. If you invest too much in expectations, you’ll fail to see the surprises.” (8/19/2005 - O#67)

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