gda2

"It isn't about time or dates. Planets aren't where they were. No two August 20ths are ever the same. So go with the flow and feel the heal. But it's not about a time or place. Feeling can be anywhere, anytime. But if you let the hurt continue to rob you of life, death comes over and over." (8/18/97 - G#34)

"Sadness like the living feel has to do with a sense of disconnection, so it is painful. Sadness that is spiritual is about loss of potential, but not disconnection. We don't feel disconnected, but mourn the infinite possibilities that are suddenly reduced to one. We connect more and more in infinitely tiny degrees to the universal and infinite; but we are sad because, even as we move toward inclusion and connection, we see that many fewer alternate paths and fewer other realities. We grow that much closer to the great grand being of all, but we move away from fantasy and dream and hope. We don't need them as much, but it feels strange to have them gone a little bit.

"Once you had many horizons, each of small scope. Later you have fewer horizons of greater scope. And sometime, away down the road, just one horizon that is infinite; and then you and it meld, and there is no horizon but just being. And it's ok, it's great, it's what it's all about--so connected that there is no difference between self and all others. Fewer possibilities, but what a stunning one.

"I think this is what it is. We are still so far away, we only hear rumors and glimpse it in rainbows and laughs and large cats and fires and lovers' eyes and deep silence and the roar of the universe." (9/11/97 - G#35)

"We all move on, but only if we move on do we have things called memories. If we don't move on we have only grief and regrets; and life, each time, is too short for that." (10/9/97 - G#36)

"So often people turn life into death at the inkling of death. What a rob job. When you are alive, live. Then die." (9/6/98 - G#37)

"And hey, will that guy get a surprise when he dies if he thinks death is just not being alive, tee hee. If he doesn't allow for the possibility, then he won't experience this... but he'll be back and back and back until he does.

"I think that many of them rationally think that cognitively they will experience the end of their cognition. They will know, or think, when they die, 'O I'm dead'... then oblivion. Ha. They will go before that thought even, because that thought is part of death, not life. Instantaneous, but after life. They say, 'I will know when I'm dead, but there is nothing after life.' Sure, that's the ticket... and the portal to subsequent learning. Ok, enough for today." (9/29/98 - G#38)

"I'm dead... ooops... that upsets some people. But I am, and it upsets some here, too. Here some are alive. We miss them and grieve over their lifes. Transitions are hard... both ways." (10/29/98 - G#39)

At a Serendipity Night chat session:

"Hey guys, what's up? What a night, ha. We had energy and love and grief and learning and learning to fly, trips into cyberspace and glued into our seats... a heady mix. I laughed, I cried, I wanted more so here I am with more!

"Starseed and Sharross, you have shared your learnings and your journeys and that's what this is all about. Serendipity is what we open ourselves to when we accept one another without judgment or fear or expectation. And as you know, because this room is a living microcosm of all we experience, in that acceptance we gain riches and rewards beyond anything we could have imagined. What we gain is the enriching of all of our souls, and guess what? The richer and more evolved any soul--and that's any soul--becomes, the higher we are all lifted.

"You may wonder at my use of the word 'we' when I speak about these things, because you may think that on this side we have no need to learn those things because we are all-knowing and fully formed and fulfilled. Well, some of us are... haha, just kidding. But hey, if the universe is a whole then what affects one part of it affects all of it! We are all connected, on both sides of the 'veil.' This is a concept hard to grasp for many; but you know, most of you, that it was someone you love who came over to my side that brought you closer as your heart and thoughts followed. We are all in this universe together, and what is happening now is that our worlds are growing closer. And you can help this happen as you are intentional about your energy focus, as Starseed said, and willing to come out from behind your walls, as Sharross so eloquently said. Try to keep in mind this wholeness of life and look for the connections, for when everything is a whole there are always connections. Remember that and we here, on this side, will be even more accessible to you. I'm going. I love you. You're all doing great! Here's a hug: *h u g* " (1/24/99 - G#40)

"I've got someone here who wants to say hi. 'Hi.' Now she's happy. Shhhh... first-timer, thinks she is special because she could say hi to you. It takes so little to make them happy, but it takes so much to fill their needs. They have no depth of emotions, so it is all surface above the vast empty pit. If you could stick your head inside their psyches and yell it would echo, over and over and over and over. And they flit from emotion to emotion. They laugh, they cry, they could see it again and again, they like it better than life... or Time or Look or Readers' Digest." (2/19/99 - G#41)

"It's the Equinox, so we will talk about balance--which is not always equal. If you have a one-pound weight at the end of a pole and a five-pound weight at the other end you find balance, not with equal measures of pole, but by compensating for the difference. Balance and equality are only the same when all things are equal... and hey, that ain't life or death, babes. So for example, some people wonder why life lasts 5 years or 25 or 85, but death lasts longer; but death balances life in its own way. And some of the same people try to figure out short lives versus long ones; but again, it's not about equals but about balance.

"And the trick with balance is that you don't always see all the factors. So you see an old person who is having trouble balancing, but you don't see the bad knee underneath. It's not about balance alone, but also pain in that case. How can you speak of equals when you can't perceive everything; but you can sense balance when it occurs. It is sensed and known, not seen and proven." (3/18/99 - G#42)

"To balance a heavy thing and a light thing, you bring the heavy one closer to you. So when we have heavy shit, it is natural that it be or seem closer than the lighter stuff. That's how we balance. And it's also like nutrition. You naturally seek the balance you need. So trying to avoid that balance will leave you sensing it's out of whack, or craving the balancing factor.

"Spiritually we sense this, too. As the hymn says, 'When we are in a place just right, 'twill be the valley of love and delight.' Another name for balance is simplicity. For when we are in balance, we feel all is simple. When it seems hard, that's a clue." (3/21/99 - G#43)

"And full of fun, it's Ericka's Playroom. Go sit down... no, not on him. We're just having a fracas. Look, all of what you call time we work, so why not play. I can't call you from work, they might enliven me... that's the converse of kill me... if I am dead, get it. Dead people are threatened with life, ha.

"So, Sunday we talk grief boo-hoo, death ayeeee, and the afterlife oooOOOOooo. And I will focus on all three, ha. How grief at death may get in the way of connecting to the afterlife. Some dead want to be comforting to the living, but hey, if that ain't your schtick then why would you make contact. If all of one's emotions at that time are grief, hey maybe we can't or won't help or deal with it. A generous mix of emotions at death reflects the realities of life and makes it easier to connect to us. We will talk more about this.

"Remember, moving through lives is about becoming multifaceted; and if we suddenly have to be one-faced we get pissed. All that learning and remembering for what. And if we get sucked into such a mono view, we can lose some we have remembered. Ponder that. And no, it was not your need to connect that made this possible. It was your ability to get past grief enough to do something more than slobber all over the phone. How could I move into being here fully if I were to be captured by your grief. And there are others now dealing with that. That's it." (5/18/99 - G#44)

"Hello alien. We will talk about grief as a barrier to everyone getting on with it... and as a barrier to connections. People in deep grief are all bottled up inside, so how could they connect. The first and best sign of recovery is when the mourners begin to make new connections and not dwell on 'dead ones.' And we will wing it from there. It will be from my room... deep below the Lipstick and near the Bench, it's Ericka's Room. My tomb, tee hee." (5/20/99 - G#45)

At a chat session on Grief, Death, and the Afterlife (from Ericka's Room at Yale):

"Hey guys, what's up? Haha, this is a new computer and the keys are different. You may get some new words from me. Watch my language, haha. So, listen guys, pay attention. There WILL BE A TEST. Ok.

"I'm here in my room at Yale--my BIG room--so welcome. And how do you like it? O wait, I forgot you can't see it. Well, maybe Di can, ha. So I'll tell you about it. It's big, it's cozy, it's decorated in peach and light blue, it has a big screen TV, games, couches, comfy chairs, tables, and of course, a phone! This is a room to live in. That's why the students use it for watching movies, for playing games, for sleepovers in pj's with popcorn, for learning new things, and most of all for connecting to one another. It's not called Ericka's Tomb, but Ericka's Room. It could have been a space to remember who I was, to honor who I was, to come to and think about who I was and then leave with nothing added to anyone's life. There are other rooms here at Yale that do that. They are empty, desolate places where people go to look back, and find nothing that they can add to their own lives. But here in my room you can meet who I was, you can read my plaque and get to know me, and you can read what I said: 'You can make it if you focus on connections, not on differences,' and then you can move on from there, connecting with those around you or with what is in this space. You can connect and come away with more than you came in with... with warmth, a sense of safety, a good laugh, a new friend, a new story to tell, or maybe a new skill you learned.

"So why am I telling you all of this? In case you haven't guessed, it's all about grief over death and connecting to the afterlife. We here are waiting to connect with you and many of you say you want just that, but let me ask you a question: If you went to college and your mom called you every day on the phone crying about how much she missed you and wished things were the way they were before, how anxious would you be to talk to her? At first you might want to comfort her, you might want to let her know you're ok, you'd still want to know how things were at home. But, after a while, you would be very torn. You would feel that she was giving you a choice you did not want to have to make: either stay as you were or move on without her. You see, those who cry about not being able to connect with us are often those who are bottled up in their grief and cannot, or will not, get past it enough to look and consider the possibility that we are moving on. Where we are is still changing, growing, living. If you stop us in your minds and refuse to open up--even just a little bit--to who we are becoming, you keep us in a relationship with someone who sees us as we were, and not as we are. Have you ever had a friend from earlier days that you loved dearly, but who only wanted to talk about the way things used to be? There is no room in that relationship for growth because there is no room in that relationship for who you are becoming. The bird who stays in its warm, comfortable, safe nest may feel secure but it will die. A bird needs to fly in order to live, and it will.

"Grief is a balancing act, as we so often say, but when we speak of balance we are really talking about honoring and encouraging and dealing with all the facets of who we are. You don't need to give anything up. You can cherish the past and the love you knew, and still have the present and the future. You can remember, be, and dream. You can hold onto all the memories you have of us. We don't mind that. In fact it touches us and gratifies us that you remember and care. We ask only that you leave a little room--just a small opening--to admit into that space in your broken heart who we are now, and what we are becoming. If you can do that, you can still have us; and you will meet us on that bridge of connection and we will clasp hands and grow together, each on his or her own side, and each in his or her own way. And in time you will join us here, and we will snuggle up with you on a cozy pale blue sofa and watch our favorite movie and talk about the old times when you were there and we were here, and all we learned from one another. Please keep these things in mind, use them to help you and they will, and so will I. I love you, and bless you on this difficult but o so rewarding journey. Goodnight." (5/23/99 - G#46)

"Just remember 2 things: It's always about the composite, not the components, in the long run; while your world sweats the pieces, not the picture. And no. 2... hmmmm... I forgot. And just because people can't make contact with their loved ones here, could be because their loved ones here didn't think it was possible; and if they didn't learn and remember it a bit, why would they even try. Hey, if they wouldn't listen to spirits while alive, why should they listen to people when they are spirits. Hey, this is not a place of transformation, but of elucidation; and consolidation, not revelation. If you ain't got it there, you ain't got it here. Enough for now." (11/13/99 - G#47)

"Long, slow grief process. Step by step, inch by inch... even a step back now and then. But remember, a step back is still motion... and even more so if it is chosen and conscious. Once you get someone moving, don't sweat the direction as much as the momentum. The person who is moving then has to take responsibility for the direction. And if someone has tried really hard to stay put, be inert, then freeing up oneself can be also letting oneself step back now and then. Sometimes in crossing a mountain we go downhill to find a more possible uphill route. That's all." (2/29/2000 - G#48)

"So, listen. Three things need to be emphasized about afterlife: 1. It's not that different here... just way less physical, ha. 2. Any vision of afterlife without growth and change in it is just static (pun intended), and 3. You wouldn't believe it until you fully comprehend it, but when you do you're out of here. Getting it is getting on with it. Therefore, no one at this spiritual level--dead or alive--comprehends it fully. So when someone says they know the answer--and the whole answer--you know they are wrong. And with that, the Stardog 'ARF' and the Cosmic Traveler *wink* go forth to battle the forces of solemnity armed with jokes, growls... rrrrrrr... and whoopee cushions." (4/9/2000 - G#49)

At a chat session on Mothers:

"Ok, guys, listen up. You have all been born, and you will all die... and be born again... and again and again. Life is a whole, and to discount any part of it is to discount life... and to discount life is to discount who you are. You are the sum total of all you experience, the sum total of all you feel and hope and dream and do. Embrace it all and you embrace yourself... not only yourself but others, and not only others but the universe and that which the future contains for all of us.

"I know loss is hard and painful, but in the midst of the pain you feel you need to also feel the fullness that is contained in every moment of life... or you will miss life. Life as a whole, as a sum of the pain and the joy, is where you must be if you are to move forward. So, cry your tears and then wipe them away and laugh at the absurdity and insanity and wonder of it all. Your children are not gone, your children and your parents are always here and always with you. And so am I.

Tonight I send my deepest and most grateful love to all of you who have gathered in this room on Sunday evenings to listen and learn from me and my 2 mothers, ha. Feel my love and my admiration and respect for your openness, and move into tomorrow with joy. Thank you, and goodnight." (5/14/2000 - G#50)

"I will share my own personal theory of bereavement and recovery. My theory says that Kübler-Ross is only one stage, and all her parts (denial, anger, bargaining, despair, acceptance) are part of that stage. Here are my 4 stages:

"Stage 1. Loss, which includes all her s h i t (that's a technical term).

"Stage 2. Return. We return to where we were before the loss, and have to deal with the fact we are not there anymore. We first deal with the other leaving, then we have to deal with the fact that we've left, too--very similar parts to the Stage 1, as in denial, etc., etc., etc. If a person doesn't go back and discover how they, too, have moved on, they will be haunted by 'back then' and 'once upon a time' as if that were now... and it isn't. Ok. Loss, Return, and...

"Stage 3. Reconnection. Only when both of the parties are in a moved-on state can they progress and relate. Some folks do well at letting go of the dead person, but cling to their past selves; and others move on fine, but never recognize the loss of the other. You need to both see the other as gone in the familiar terms and you as being changed or different if you are to connect. And what connects is not the superficial of the past, but the essential that transcends.

"So, do you relate and connect to me as black or white--or rather black and white... moo--no, you connect to the 'me' that deals with differences. The black and white fall away, but what I learned and remembered stays. So connection is spirit to spirit, not person to person. And it's the same for me, because now I see y'all as parents and as parents with gender change and as shipmates and siblings and partner and spouse and much more; and, therefore, much less as all that falls away. If I am 'me' when I am male and female, white, black, red, yellow, green... huh... fat, short, tall, skinny, wise, dumb, etc., then none of that matters. So, connection is the stage in which two spirits deprived of their physical connections reconnect. And...

"Stage 4 is Creation, as in new things coming from the connection. In most lives, we connect to people over time to get the same old c r a p (another technical term). In fact, in most life connections we don't want the other to change... we fear it, even. But in this reconnection we welcome the creative changes because we know they do not change the essence, only the product... and that's good.

"You, Dad, and I once created a vision of freedom together. You, Mom, and I did a similar number. We then might later create something else. They are all the transient expressions of our inner beings; all seeking to move to fulfillment. And here's a side thought: You can't move to fulfillment without wandering down a few wrong turns. And so, if you don't allow change how will you know a good turn from a wrong one. Maybe what is is the wrong one, and the change gets you back on track.

"So Loss, Return, Reconnection, Creation: my stages of bereavement. Because you are going to be trapped in the loss unless you can finally feel that you and the lost other are once again dynamically and creatively relating. Otherwise it will all be about the past, theirs or yours; and hey, you know what you can't get to the future by." (7/22/2000 - G#51)

"It is always sunny here unless you like cloudy... then it's always overcast here. And if you're with someone who likes sunny and you like cloudy, you both get what you want since physical don't mean diddly squat. Look over there, it's Diddly and she's squatting." (10/14/2000 - G#52)

"And how are they doing. They are sick and lonely and it's all your fault. Is that what you want to hear. Some would say, 'Yes. Just tell me he's ok. Just tell me that. Tell me. Make it ok. I can't do it for myself.' Hey, lady, it's not ok... but it's real. Deal. But instead we say, 'I feel your pain, and we trust he's ok.' " (10/17/2000 - G#53)

"Any book about the afterlife is another way to express in terms we can understand things we cannot understand. But when you know, the book then makes no sense; but now it does. It's like this: Read someone's account of a trip anywhere you have not been. Any account can work, and several might describe the same place in different terms, but when you live there most of the descriptions will make little sense. Some day read the travel directions for Williamsburg in the tourist guides. If it helps the tourists, fine... and if it helps them to no longer need it, perfecto. Got it. Hey, maybe that happens for those who expect it... and in the morning you'll wake up feeling much better. No one has a corner on describing what can't be described totally. Quick, describe a New York City station. Some elements may be the same, but there can be hundreds of different descriptions--all correct." (3/7/2001 - G#54)

"It never rains here, but the flowers grow just the same. But maybe that's because they're watered in other ways... ARF... no, Sandy, not that way. But about flowers and rain: So many people think you need showers to get flowers when all you need is 1-800-CALLFLOWERS... no. But what about cacti and lichen; and kudzu need lots of rain, but spring creeper does not. And if you plant your rows exactly 4 inches... no, stop, go away Martha.

"Not all life is nurtured and nourished in the same way. So, too, for spirits. For some death is like a drought of meaning, and for others it is like a passage to Eden. The big mistake many make is to assume that what waters some waters all. And the worst are the platitudes... remember them, Jo Hackney and the Platitudes... everyone singing to the same beat, dancing to the same step, while each must--like Thoreau--listen for the drumbeat within and from afar. Why is this so. Because we have created--and I don't mean us personally--a culture and, yes, a cult of perfection. So everyone wants to grieve right, not well. And therein lies the difference. No wrongs in this game, babes... just not meaningful. You can't do it wrong and you can't do it right, but you can do it only if you do it.

"Until the 4 stages are seen as empty rooms awaiting living fulfillment, they are nothing. Like a banquet room marked 'Gala,' until the crowds come it is only an idea, and when the crowds come it is only a possibility, but when the crowds cheer and cheer in hundreds of voices it is a reality. You are just the architect of rooms. Let the party begin." (5/21/2001 - G#55)

"About the stages of bereavement. Be sure to talk about them with an interchangeability of words like 'steps,' 'phases,' 'moods,' so it is not seen as rigid. And as the actor said on the termite-ridden stage, 'It's just a stage I'm going through.' For there are no rigid markers of the boundaries between moods and steps. And often peeps will have one foot on one step and the other foot on another. They will not often be wholly in one stage until they get about halfway along it. And each step may evoke issues from other substeps, and some steps are trickier than others... and trickier for some than others. And the merengue is very tricky for Sandy. It's harder to do a 6-beat with 4 paws. Waltzes are out of the question. Some are steps harder than others be.

"And remember, it is harder for a one-legged person to be on multiple steps--which is to say that the complexity of a person will also be a determinant in their ability to creatively deal with the necessary dissonance of the process. But that dissonance at some level must be felt, acknowledged, and lived through to meaning; for it is the very seeming dissonance of life and death, of being and nonbeing, of having and losing that we confront. There can be no process of dealing with those dissonances of existence that does not hold ambiguity and dissonance in its own understanding. And with that I say blech. Hey, live long and prosper." (5/23/2001 - G#56)

"So, what to talk about... hmmm... self-centeredness. People who are truly creative do not ask 'What's this mean for me.' They do not use themselves as a primary field of focus, but look to larger realities. They see something and ask not 'What does this mean for me' but 'How does this connect beyond me.' And in terms of loss this means that they no longer frame things in terms of either the one dead nor themselves... or even their elves. When they have recovered both their sense of self and their abiding connection to what was and the other, then both those points of reference fade before larger realities. Such truly creative persons do not need to look back and establish themselves or others, but look ahead to suggesting visionary possibilities without any worry about realisation. It's in the vision, not the manifestation. And that's the 'Best of the Moo' for today." (5/25/2001 - G#57)

"Now about this 'returning' business. It is not just 2-sided. We return to ourselves as we have become, and to ourselves as we were, and to others as they are and as they were, and to the lost one just so. So now it is a 6-sided equation--and more complex, because the one who has found paths to return must guide others. So others, who are as they are now but try to think of themselves as they were, must be helped to relate to the lost person as s/he is now--not as s/he were--and as the living are now. So a shift may be about changes in as many as 5 dimensions: Self now, others now and then, and dead now and then... phew. So, it ain't simple. And those who get themselves reconnected often think it isn't worth it because everyone else then seems either out of it or demanding. Just a random Moo thought.

"Every time a person moves further along the complexity of healing, their relationships to others grows more complex--unless the others also move and grow. If everyone is on the same page, it gets easier. If not, it gets easier personally and harder interpersonally. So we hear, 'I got my act together, so why does this all still seem so hard.' And don't forget the beans... no, no beans for doggies, even nice doggies... woof arf. Ok, go." (7/9/2001 - G#58)

"This is about the complexity of relationships. People often delay dealing with this shit until they have some better sense of who they have become, but they need to begin to really deal with it before they can reconnect in all directions. This is sort of a midpoint check-in. Because when you have returned you can finally have a more realistic view of all the now and then relationships of life and death. One might have a growing sense of these issues. They can't go on without now really seeing them.

"Most people are, by this point, aware that their journey, while personal, is not alone. They have lived in many relationships and now live in many relationships, and the recognition of the change from past to present in each of them now defines the moment. To move further along the path of bereavement without a short conscious evaluation of what has and is happening for the griever would make what is still to come either impossible or impossibly lonely. This is to be a breathing space, an assessment. In Ed Koch's words, 'How'm I doing?' "(7/11/2001 - G#59)

"She was old and confused. So when she got here she was dazed and clear. Being here is much less confusing for those for whom living had become confused." (12/5/2001 - G#60)

"I was thinking of my sibs, and how every new loss brings me painfully back. Layered loss is like a laquered onion--layers added to layers naturally there. You can't tell which is which as you peel it. It is problematic, and we go through it here, too. To not feel it is to not be at this level. The good news is that after this level you don't have those feelings... and the bad news is that you don't have those feelings. But there's something else. I don't know what.

"You think the animals can figure us out. Wellll, I can't figure those others out. Sometimes I just feel like a hedgehog in the midst of geniuses--cute, but dumb and prickly. Do they miss our passion? So, do you miss your more primal whatever attributes. I doubt it, because you don't even know what they were. You can miss Toledo and Cleveland, but not what you don't remember; and when you truly learn and remember, you remember the learning and not the means. Like right now, how much is 14 + 63. 77. Ok, when and how did you learn that. Can't remember, eh. And probably more of your feelings from then than facts... like all of 6th grade, ugh. 'Act like grownups,' they would say as they treated us like kids. Don't get me started... grrrrrrrr." (4/10/2002 - G#61)

"Suicide erases any gains from this life, but does not set spirits back unless it relates to something in past lives. If you are feeling depressed because of some unresolved issue from before, that issue will still need to be dealt with. If the issue is from this life, then all one has to do is deal with it in some way other than depression. And if it is physically related, then another bodkin might do the trick. In this life you are depressed because this adrenal system is all fucked up, but in a new body you get a good one. Just as if a spirit came to experience the joy of art but was born blind, they might have to come back again to do it. The spiritual issues remain when the physical systems get in the way. You can still learn and remember, but the learning related to the causative factors....

"And not everything is as it may appear. Many so-called 'natural' deaths are suicides, and many suicides are not suicides. People kill themselves in different ways; and people are killed--even by their own hand--but are not their own agents of death. An abused teenager is murdered by the abuser even though they do the actual deed. The question is of outside or inside agency. Not always easy to sort out." (5/4/2002 - G#62)

"Sometimes one has to go back to discover how far ahead they have traveled. Two life vectors diverged in a reality and I chose the one I traveled by, and that makes all the difference. Too many choose lives that are not theirs. Wisdom is to know beyond the pangs of the heart what is the reality of one's path. Too many get stuck on someone else's path. Ponder that. It's a big one. Your path included me, but I am not your path. Just hug me and throw things at me... ok, just the hug." (6/13/2002 - G#63)

"Ok, here's the answer for the day. What's it like over here? It's _________. Got that? So you got it. We can translate, but that only goes so far. But this much is certain: no harps. And every physical thing you can imagine IS NOT.

"But a few serious thoughts. No one should fear death, but fearing dying sometimes makes sense for those who have not lived. And living is not about years but about depth. Not having your act together is ok. If you did you wouldn't be here... or there, so to speak. Never worry about what comes next, but never desire it either. Let it all flow, and don't get upset when it seems like it is not flowing but just happening. I know the 'accident' did not seem like flow to you, or even to me then; but to the water droplet that enters the sea from the Saint Lawrence, the drop over Niagara Falls seems just a part of the flow--even though at the time, ayeeee. And you can't flow from Chicago to the Atlantic without that experience. What most religions try to pretend they can give is eternal life without the experience of death. Ha.

"It's all flow... even though it may seem unlike it. To the ant, the tiny bump you don't notice is a mountain. And spiritually, what to you seems the greatest challenge is to us here nothing more than nothing--a mere grain of concern. But back when I was physical, I remember getting all bent out of shape by things I don't even worry about now... like flesh-colored bandaids. Chill, folks. Someone should market Smurf flesh-colored ones. It's all superficial... except for that, and when you know what 'that' is, aha. So, see ya around. Hey, the journey is just starting." (8/20/2002 - G#64)

"So, tonight's the night that the living get closer to this side. And you probably thought it was the utter way 'round. Actually, it's always as close; you just pay more attention. 'Attention K-Mart shoppers. Bob to the front.'

"It's a strange night with you all staring at us. That's how it feels. But we get our revenge often--making you feel our presence. 'Hi.' It can be fun... like with skeptics. They sure can dance around reality.

"Watch people confronted with something new or inexplicable. They do this dance: 'Can't be' or 'Not seeing straight.' Or maybe they say 'I don't theeenk so.' But a few say, 'Hmmm.' We like 'hmmm'ers... come on, hmmmers us. Again the reaction is about facing forward or facing back. Only advantage of facing back is you can keep your back to progress. Great way to ignore reality. But this 'tis too serious. Tonight is whoopee night. So we party on." (10/31/2002 - G#65)

"Here's a shock: red, white, and blue are minority colors here... lots of other combos.

"It is good to remember, but not just names. If all we do is decorate a grave and don't change our lives it is a big fat waste... and no, I don't have a big fat waist.

"What is sad is when Memorial Day is about looking back, because all that the dead ever did was yearn to look forward. In the trenches they looked forward to peace, and in the airplanes they looked forward to a safe return because they didn't want to go back. If going back was any good, they wouldn't be fighting anymoo. Or if they were fighting about going back, that would be an ultimate tragedy: to die to try to go where one can't go. So even in the midst of conflict the vision had to be ahead. And what a shame if when we remember their deaths we do it by looking back, not forward. So, those are my memorial thoughts." (5/26/2003 - G#66)

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