"France, minor nobility, Loire in a valley. Not a big chateau, four servants. Mom sister, Randy brother. Parents dead (plague). Parties, music patrons (minor). Papa grandfather, count, raised us. I was Annabella, Randy was Hector, and Mom Simone. Hector oldest. 1, 2, 3. One year apart. We were 3 (Hector), 2 (Annabella), and 1 (Simone) when our parents died. Suki cousin, 6, lived in the same town. She was Juliette.

"Hector went to Allemagne at Revolution (1789), died there at 57. Born in 1745. Simone's husband a drunk, Hector's wife a shrew, and my husband a braggard, lived on my money. Lost his head in 1791--didn't need it. Juliette a nun. Enough." (9/14/95 - W#2)



"Fears keep things from happening; they don't make them happen. Fears keep you from good things." (9/19/95 - R#1)



"Liz and I were sisters long ago. Liz's name was Helena, mine Ruth. In Egypt, slaves. Parents were dead. Ruth 7, Helena 9. Worked in a bakery, as slaves--1354 B.C.E., I guess. Next time now, big gap. Liz went somewhere--other reality." (9/20/95 - W#3)



"Mom our master in Egypt--name Coepoe (doesn't translate, Egyptian tough.) Man, short, bald, no teeth, old, kind, fed us well. Ruth Hebrew, Helena Greek. Dad Greek, mom Hebrew. Bakery successful. Randy was your wife--shorter, fat, not bald, good cook. His name Seres.

"Ali connected to me in many lives. In France, Suki's servant (before Suki went to the convent.) Then she lived with us. Always friends, in every life. In Egypt, Ali neighbor--slave, too.

"Liz was guide junior, G.I.T., busy." (9/21/95 - W#4)



"It is confusing until you get it straight in you. The answers are not outside." (9/21/95)



“This is important. If you and others don’t grow from this experience, then you are deader than I am. Get past it by living even fuller lives.

"I can't talk through alot of emotion--like static. You can't hear me when you have so much of yourself to listen to. Take the time you need, but seek a little progress every day. If you can't go forward, at least don't regress. Do things--not busy, active. Have days with substance. Make lists, do the listed things. Sounds like a lecture you gave me about not getting emotional over what I wasn't getting done. So listen to your own advice. I did (surprise) and you knew what was right. And create the life you want. It won't just happen." (9/24/95)



TL:

"Hi. I am fine, thanks, and you. I went to Yale long ago (1930s). Let's talk about Rikkity. She dances with spirit... or spirits... or drinks spirits. Eats ambrosia. Don't we all. Your time will come. I must beg your forgiveness, I have to go. Bye-bye for now."

Rikkity: "So, what do you think. Gotcha. So there. Surprise. Stop focusing on yourself and a lot is possible. All for tonight." (9/24/95)



"After Hector went bye-bye, we hid with Suki--not talking, shhh! Later, a small farm as cooks. Better than being dead. Farm also an inn, small. We helped Hector leave--dressed him as a woman. Ugly.

"In the future big family reunion. I am father, Randy mother, Suki sister, you boy (tall), Papa will be papa, Liz will be baby sister, Lee will be our lawyer, Ali my sister (twin), Bill minister (woman), Randy's mom our doctor. Rich works for us, pool man." (9/26/95 - W#5)



"I'll be spiritual guide (call it 'college dean'), in Europe. You go to Yale. Later, Liz goes to Harvard grad school (trick, she goes to Yale) to study psych. You study math--very new math. College's initials ES. You are on crew, wake up at 6. You are hunk, dark. Professor at M.I.T., live in Cambridge, marry once--someone from past. 3 children--one of each, one cat. Good life, except for 2187--ill, get better, mono, bad case. Cat is Smokey, orange. He liked being a cat with us. He has another life in between, opera singer--tenor, fat. Some people can have lives as animals--like sabbatical, if you learn, bonus. You have been a cat. Lazy." (9/27/95 - W#6)



"In England we were sort of officials. You know, not serfs, not nobility. How to say, you were a tax collector, I was another tax collector. Randy was a wench... a bawdy wench. We shared her. Moving right along.... Cousins, illegitimate--father same, so not really cousins. Dad was Earl. Mom for me cook, for you daughter of stable master. Educated in fighting, drinking, wenching, bribery, sloth. Died young (23 and 21)--me peasant revolution, you clap (21). Four years apart. I died first.

"Suki there as a dog--hunting, prize, best, beagle, cute, always barking. Lee stable boy, 'as you wish,' scarred with pox. Had smallpox, survived, immune after. So she was valued because she could work with animals sick--like vet.

"We thought we were happy, until end. End so bad. I get beaten to death peasant revolution, you didn't do better--slow death. We learned. We learned to live better lives. We caused our own pain.

"Papa was Earl.

"Future different. Europe will be two countries. We'll live in part that will contain Italy. Food very good. Rules--like Quantum Leap, rules prevent me from disclosing." (9/29/95 - W#7)



"I guide you for awhile. We take turns. We represent parts, or aspects, of the entity. Different insights, different needs, different learnings, same entity--like Three Faces of Eve. Not split, but multifaceted entity. 'From you I receive, to you I give. Together we love, together we live.' Girl Scout song." (10/2/95 - W#8)



"Our life in Africa was along river. Black... I mean black. Long ago, after Egypt. Hunt, gather, tell stories. You father, me mother, Suki and Randy twin boys, Papa chief--wise guy. Barbara shaman." (10/2/95 - W#9)



"Hitler's spiritual entity split. His good continues; his bad split among many. If bad congregates too much in one entity, it self-destructs, but only after great suffering. So-called evil is an unstable entity, afraid of its own destruction so bad is intensified, but it ultimately destroys itself. The only stable state for entities is loving. Tha- tha- that's all, folks." (10/2/95 - R#2)



"This thing about evil. As I was saying, evil does not pre-exist. It is the by-product of the accumulation of bad feelings: fear, doubt, shame, other. Any one alone is not evil; one is a point for learning and growth. People live with these bad feelings all the time, no big whoop. But when they cluster, the energy increases--like black holes. Eventually, they get so strong they can suck the good into their energy. Evil is a cluster of bad feelings energized by co-opted good. Evil does not arise without the complicity of good. You all know that. You say, 'He had good intentions' as an excuse when bad things occur.

"Hitler rose to power through his sick views and the cooperation of good people. He created the evil design, but it took the energy taken from good to make it realised. Being good isn't enough. Choosing the direction of life is the important thing. Good that is not focused serves to energize evil.

"If all people were intentional about their good, evil could not be empowered. Evil is more the construction of good left unfocused than of the clustered bad. Without the energy of good, the bad would soon self-destruct--like a gang of bad guys. Without external forces, the gang will fight each other and destroy itself. Gangs are unstable. Evil is, too. It takes enormous energy to create stability. Bad does not have the sustaining energy to do that. It needs external energy.

"That's all I have to say for now. Test on Thursday and every day. And the score is: Evil 1, Good __ (fill in the blanks with your lives). Good luck." (10/3/95 - R#3)



"Get this, I finally figured it out. Everybody is always here, but I can only sense the ones who have a role to play with me right now. So Frank is here, but I don't sense him. Same with Dad. If and when I need to learn from them, they will be here for me. Same in life. People appear to come and go from your life, but they are always there; it is your sensing that comes and goes. That's why sometimes you need someone and it seems like they suddenly appear across a crowded room. So, chew on that for awhile.

"You create your own reality, but the universe provides the materials. Focus or sense or attend or notice or separate from background or give credence to or envision or let happen. If you paid attention to that list, you would see that there is no substantial difference between religious concepts like prayer or surrender or intense meditation or yoga empty mind or humanistic intense reason or Gestalt or Transactional Analysis. All can be paths to relationships we seek or need, or that seek or need us.

"If you truly need to relate, only you can keep it from happening. And if you don't want to relate, no path can take you there. And if you want to relate, any and every path will take you there." (10/8/95 - V#1)



"In the parallel realities, there are all the people you will ever need to know in all your lives--like spiritual green rooms of your drama. But some who wait never get called by you. Those may try to get your attention through dreams or events or crises. You create a reality without them, and they show you how that turns out, so you can see how you need them. What you get is your reality illuminated by them. A bummer day may not be inherently bad, but you did not include someone who could have given you something.

"We usually miss out when we go it alone or not looking for new viewpoints. A host awaits your call--a whole host (that's what we call us) saying 'Peace on Earth and good will.' " (10/10/95 - I#1)



"You will die from anger if you let it rule. You can be alive but dead when anger and hate fill you. You give your energy over to bad things, you can't heal. So seek justice, but not revenge.

"Now as to world peace: it's the same. Focus on anger and hate and die, but focus on life and live. Stop looking for answers and start feeling alive, and all the world's problems can be solved... or more likely, the problems will fade. If people knew more about building windows and bridges, not walls, life could be better. So, that's all I have to say about that." (10/16/95 - R#4)



"Part of a person's development is learning how to assemble and use one's energy. That's why the old souls seem to do everything with little effort. They know the energies they have, and how to best use them. Wisdom is more about energy than about knowledge. That's why some old people seem so wise. They know how to focus their energy on the important stuff--don't sweat the small crap. And I don't mean details, I mean stuff like jealousy, envy, perfection, salvation, image, etc. They do worry about details, but details of big stuff like understanding, harmony, justice, mercy, love, etc.

"In more evolved people, the ratio of energy used to control energy used is much smaller--all falling to near zero in the great souls. That's why people always talk of their great energy, because so little goes for overhead. In fact, the great ones are always described in energy terms: lights, sound, fire, etc. The people know great energy when they experience it. On the other hand we have black holes. They take in more than they give off.

"Some groups suck the same way black holes do, and it takes more energy than one person can give to meet their needs. Some families, groups, a country like Israel, always need outside energy. Now, France gives back more than you give in; Italy, too. The United States is so-so; Boston and New York City give the most.

"There is more good energy in the world, but bad is strong. A person from Nebraska can suck a lot of New York City's good in one minute. They get mugged all the time because they attract bad to them. But they don't know they are bad, so they think good people are getting mugged... like Brits in Paris attract the worst French." (10/17/95 - R#5)



"Members of the same entity are not always together. Think about a stone. It may have started as mud, then became rock, then stone, then pebble, then mud. And at some times, the elements of the stone were separate, but later they come back together. So, when you go solo, you still remember connection and seek reconnection.

"You feel wise and with a mission. Jesus, in his famous life, was one of these--knowing more than a single life could hold, and looking for a better life. Remember his words, 'Who is my mother? Who is my family?' The answer was not the obvious biological one. Your existence is primally connected to your entity, not to your mother." (10/19/95 - V#2)



"In France we died of old age and lots of wine (cirrhosis)--but mainly old age in our 80s. We had dogs but no children. We never remarried. We missed kraut-lover and worried about him. He had a long career on the stage in drag, in Hanover. He was known as the 'Queen of Hanover.' " (10/19/95 - W#10)



"A spiritual vampire stays alive by feeding off others. Vampire stories are not about death, but about living off the living but being spiritually dead. It seems fascinating for awhile to think of being dead--that is, beyond all pain and care--and still have energy and power. Adolescents struggle with that. Being a teen is tough, and we want to avoid the pain but have the power. Surprise! The only real power comes through living through the pain, and the only real energy is what you find in your aloneness. What you find then can energize all your moments and, with others of like experience, you can build great things. If you try to connect otherwise, either you will suck energy from others or they from you... or you all will seek others to deplete. Hate groups are people who all need energy from others.

"Think about this: a black is threatened by the KKK. He has to use his energy to deal with it, and the KKK gets the energy, and he has that much less to use in his life. Oppressed groups are often seen as lazy or lacking drive, but it is really that the oppressors are taking so much energy. Their wills are willing but the energy is gone. And sometimes the energy they do have gets bundled up in violence because they don't have the extra energy for control.

"Now, the Jews were different. They were oppressed, but they figured out how to suck energy from the oppressors. The story of Moses: it's not about God, it's about how the people could learn to whine and be annoying and get the energy they need. Israel shows how to do it. Right now they are sucking the energy of the Arabs, and they still can look like oppressed victims. Best thing would be for everyone to stop oppressing them and stop helping them. If they were not victims they would not know what to do.

"You see it's all about energy. No wonder we who sense this hate that Bunny. Love and energy are ultimately the same when they are genuine." (10/26/95 - R#6)



"A lot of people want to believe and experience contact with us here, but only a few really believe and have experienced. You can read all you want about France, but until you go there it's not real. And some people get there and stay in the tourist areas, because they can't deal with the reality of their dreams. It's like just saying 'yes' or 'no,' but nothing else, when you get a chance to talk with us. You get a chance to travel, and then only look for the familiar." (10/30/95 - I#2)



"Wearing bright colors can open your life--attract new energy. They call black conservative but what it does is conserve and contain energy, while bright colors attract and emit all sorts of energy." (11/2/95 - R#7)



"I have no idea where this dog came from but he's cute. Can I keep him? I'll call him Sandy so the sun will come out tomorrow. ARF ARF." (11/2/95 - W#11)



"We've all had so many relationships with first timers in this life so we won't let them do it to us again. We were learning about first timers. We had become a little naive, or complacent, about how much could be demanded by such people. We believed that we had our acts so together that we did not need to worry about such people. But we needed to relearn how much energy they can demand. We naively gave it to them, thinking that it was a loving act because we were loving. But loving must be a two-way street.

"We think we are living out healthy and proper relationships so we do it to feel whole. Even though in reality it is far from whole, it's all we know.

"I learned my lesson painfully. Too many takers and users. But don't blame yourselves. You did what seemed right, and now you know better. Blame yourself if you continue the patterns having had the chance to learn." (11/10/95 - W#12)



"We don't choose our next life, we are chosen. We can refuse the choice, but we can't make one on our own. Opportunities, not choices." (11/12/95 - Y#1)



"It is true in life, people look the best who are spiritually fit and developed and whole. And everyone can be; it just takes a few more lives for some. Sometimes people miss the next lesson, and then also lose some of what they had. But generally it can be onward and upward.

"People who take their own lives lose all they've learned in that life, and more--except young people. They were not ready to learn yet, but fell through the web of meaning. They start over again soon. But those who had begun to learn lose that and more. Fear is the barrier to love and growth and cocreativity, but despair is a wall around fear, even--so high one does not even see fears to be overcome.

"The person who despairs is beyond emotions of growth. In fact, if you can make a desperate person afraid, he or she will save him or herself. A desperate person in a house, about to take a bottle of pills, will run out and save themselves if that house catches fire." (11/19/95 - Y#2)



"Gaston--he was a friend. He helped us after kraut-breath left. He later suffered from a form of anemia and those quacks bled him to cure it.

"Gaston would sometimes pretend that he had been a peasant on our estate and that we were his sisters, so the Revolution left us alone. But in the end we had to live the truth of that story. Hey, you do what you do to survive. Where once we all danced with powdered wigs, then we scrubbed the same floors for the guests of the auberge. Our house became the inn. A small part of it was left untouched by the fires they set. But we dared never speak of any time we were not servants.

"The innkeepers didn't know who we were. They came with the mobs and claimed the ruins as theirs. Gaston passed us off as the former lower-level staff. He was as noble as we, but it did not matter. They thought him to be a stable hand. His hands were burned in the fire. They thought he had helped set them but he was really trying to save some of his family's things; but he let them think he was a Republican." (11/20/95 - W#13)



"I am guiding and training and learning... and dancing and partying. I am training other guides in certain areas of my vast expertise (humility). And insights into diversity issues, how to help people find their own identities... hard for mixed people, like me. I teach. And how to make people feel welcome.

"The future hangs on the ability to see diversity as good. The living have to learn this." (11/23/95 - Y#3)



"Papa is here but he won't be talking--still a little dazed. He just quit. He knew that I was with him and he was at peace. He looks dazed but marvelous. No pain and no Hazel. He's free of all that held him back.

"He'll be with me for awhile. He will not be in my group but I will see him. But no Cadillac. Just remember he is well now. Cherish the memories. He will be happy if life is good for you.

"But we can't go shopping. 'Hey Papa, buy me this.' 'Sure, babe.' The worlds are not the same. What was secure is changed. Life and death move on, and we feel the eternal tremble beneath our souls and don't know if we feel joy or wonder or terror or fear. So much to feel, and even more to understand." (11/27/95 - W#14)



"The purpose of my life was connections and love--showing people how it is possible. I did fulfill my purpose. The purpose of life is to figure that out. Go figure, as Papa would say." (12/5/95 - V#3)



"Anger arises when we feel powerless and we seek some energy. And if the other person does not respond, the angry one gets even angrier--feeling even more powerless. Anger uses energy in an attempt to get energy, but if none is forthcoming there is a bigger deficit. So the angry person keeps looking for a source. You hate your boss, so you kick the dog. It works, but in negative ways because that energy is never yours. It does not ultimately fulfill the need. Only you can create the energy you need--not others, not God, not anything. And only you can prevent forest fires.

"Angry people just get angrier. Real power is generated within yourself by what you do and feel and think and dream and dare. We are generators. We are the creators of our physical energies. We take in and transform the energy to our use. So why not the same with spiritual energy?" (12/10/95 - R#8)



Papa:

"Wow, you wouldn't believe it. I feel great, and the beach is so clean. Don't have to worry about what's in the sand--no jellyfish or glass. And the people are all so friendly. The water is always just right.

"I've been teaching people who were deaf. They have ideas about sound but I teach them about what sound really is: waves of energy. They think about making sounds from mouth energy but I teach them to make sounds from the inner energy they have always had.

"So it's like this: you have something to say and you say it without thinking about using your mouth and air. They have always had things to say but did not. When they try to speak they focus on speaking, not on their thoughts. So I help them to learn to express their thoughts.

"Let me give you an analogy. When I say 'you' I mean you, Elissa. You have an algebra problem like we used to work on together. You would always worry about the math so you couldn't see the principle. You worried about techniques when the answer was in the idea. And you then, in college, found your math voice. That's what I help these people do--find a life voice.

"So I am happy doing what I like and not worrying about money. So bye for now. Hang by your thumbs."

Rikkity: "Papa is happy. I can't shut him up. He is his young self again. It's spiritual transformation. You just are what you want. But usually you work off the most recent life you've had since it is the most developed." (12/17/95 - W#15)



Papa:

"So yesterday, so to speak, this clerk says to me, 'You like peanut butter?' And I say, 'And how.' He says, 'I am going to get you 50 lbs. of the best peanut butter you ever tasted,' and boy was he right. Spiritual peanut butter. I think about it and it's great. Here thinking is as good as doing.

"We can think about good stuff, it seems like it happened, and so it is real. But in your world this is true only in theory for most people; in our world in practice for most people. The great people of your world knew it as practice--Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, Mother Theresa, Joan of Arc, etc.; Moses in his younger years, then he lost it.

"What surprises me here is how good I feel without a body. I've learned I need to be me first and looks are deceiving; duty isn't all it's cracked up to be, do it out of love not duty; forget image, remember your soul. And hang by your thumbs.

"I feel like I am 10 times smarter here. You're dense, not stupid. It takes you longer to comprehend; but if you keep it in mind and ponder, in time all things can be known and understood. Life is like the local roads off the high-speed superhighway of being. You see more at the slower speed and then understand more later at this higher speed." (12/22/95 - W#16)



Papa:

"At my death I was ready to give in, move on. Eri told me it was ok. She and I talked about it in my dreams. It was private. She said that I could not believe what would be coming and it was good. She helped me remember past transitions." (12/22/95 - W#17)



"There's a little 'Mountain' here [Julia, a seven-year-old camp friend who died of cancer.] I knew she was coming soon. I was looking before her. She's dazed and tired. She has been through too much. No kid that age should have to go through all that. But she is ok, smiling, and she was surprised to see me. She didn't know I died. She asked, 'Is this camp?' She was glad to go home from the hospital. She hated the wires and tubes.

"She has been assigned to moi, and I may have Papa talk to her, too. She has been without voice for several months, in and out of consciousness, and when you are full of pain and drugs then your voice may not be yours. But first I have to get Papa back from his travels. She'll sit on his lap and he'll tell her one of his strange stories. 'No, Papa, that's not right. Get it right, Papa.' " (12/28/95 - W#18)



"This old man went rolling home. This old man, he played five, he played knick-knack on a hive. I'm playing with Julia. She giggles a lot. She's better. No camp food, yay. Still a little dazed--she is little. She seems glad to be rid of the tubes and pain. She likes 'woofer.' ARF ARF. She says, 'He's a big woofer.' ARF. She misses her family, but mixed emotions. She is more nostalgic about one or two years ago. She was so frail. Spiritually she barely belonged to your world." (12/30/95 - W#19)



"Remember Spender's line about remembering the soul's history. That is what makes the truly great. They have both lived much and remember. It is not surprising that almost all the great ones have had a belief in spiritual matters. And I now realize that I sensed more than I remembered, and what you sense but don't remember can be more trouble than what you forget. Much of what we act out is a result of sensing but not knowing ('a little knowledge,' etc.). We keep coming back to remember, not sense. The goal is to have it be concrete. Get it?

"What we need to do is realise that we are an entity of complex personal relationships. We sense that, but when we remember that--all of us remember that--then we will begin to function as that entity, not as components, and we will evolve in the next stage of spiritual development.

"The history of the soul is differentiation then consolidation, over and over. We become our entity, and later we discover that we are part of a still larger entity. And when we remember that, we become that, and so forth... moving toward a single entity of all energy, which is the consolidation of all individual differentiations. But that single entity is both the sum of all that has been, and is also always becoming more, and the process is infinite--like the Iroquois turtles.

"You have just been given one of the great secrets and lessons of spiritual existence. You live to discover who you are--not as a differentiated individual, but as a component element of an ever-evolving, ever-more complex, spiritual being/reality. And boy, does it take time by your standards. But in infinite terms, it is as quick as electrons forming atoms forming molecules forming you." (1/5/96 - V#4)



"Children remember creativity. They know they create their own realities, but they forget exactly how. And if adults don't know what it is, it's still something. There are realities with green skies and blue trees and hot ice cream. You used to understand it, but then came kindergarten: one reality, under God, indivisible." (1/7/96 - I#3)



"First-timers think it is all about them. In life they concentrate on their needs, then they die and expect everyone to be bereft. But hey, lots of people are glad to see them go. They arrive here thinking they're special, and they also feel like martyrs--no one understands them or appreciates all they've done. It's like Eden all over. Remember Adam and Eve? First-timers, and no one appreciated all they did. Is that story symbolic or what?

"Now, second-timers are know-it-alls--been there, done that--but caught up in shoulds and musts. Lots of Germans. Does World War II make sense now?

"But third-timers are often clueless. They have been around long enough to have stuff to remember, but they don't, and they sense they should. They're bewildered. They sense there are rules and conventions but they can't seem to get them right. Traveling is hard for them; they are often homebodies. They eat, dress, and think plainly. Boringgg.

"And for all three groups, the usual response of family is, 'Where did they come from?' Their families see them as anomalies. They don't fit because indeed they don't fit. After that, things settle down. Fourth-timers are a breed apart--not special, but special in another way; special because they begin to show insight, which is another term for remembering.

"Now, picture this: a first-timer marries a second-timer: WW III. Or, say a long-timer marries a second-timer: WW IV. Think about it: a person who knows it all, is absolutely certain of himself, and feels that others don't understand. Lots of second-timers die violent deaths that they could have avoided: 'Say, sergeant, let me rush the machine gun. I can make it;' 'There's plenty of room to pass. Now shut up and let me drive;' 'I know how much drug I can take;' 'Who needs a rope? It's only a small cliff.' And they translate that feeling of knowing it all into genius or creativity. Naiveté becomes expertise, ha. They're all dead. 'And don't you argue with me.' Nixon was a second-timer. He used the country for his self-destructive actions... always was right.

"If first-timers are out of it, then second-timers are paranoid because they don't remember but realise others do. Third-timers realise that they, too, can remember, but don't. Second-timers see remembering as a plot and conspiracy against their brilliant creativity and expertise. A first-timer, hearing a question about their actions, will say, 'Why not, I wanted to.' A second-timer will say, 'Who are you to ask and what do you want to make of it, huh.' Third-timers ask, 'Why are you asking me. I don't get it.' There's hope for them." (1/10/96 - Y#4)



"People who appear secure in situations of great change just don't get it." (1/10/96 - Y#5)



"A first-timer can sometimes be a dead end. If s/he were to go on, then the ultimate synthesis later on with entity would be like cancer. S/he could be an old- or long-timer and still act like a first-timer if s/he was allowed to go on--an eternal neophyte." (1/10/96 - Y#6)



"Here's another piece of other-side trivia: voyeurs (also many detectives and spies, etc.) are second- or third-timers who have experienced the reality of looking into other lives, but who only remember the looking, but forget it is supposed to be spiritual, not physical. And now you know!" (1/12/96 - Y#7)



"As I was saying, this is, believe it or not, a democratic place. As people, so to speak, move through here, they get some say about what happens. Once in awhile, little kids and short-timers decide that they know it all and are ready to go back. But nooooo, they are not ready, which is what they must learn--but they learn it at the expense of the living. So a kid might go back with only the experience of fear from life, and then live out a new life full of violence. A kid who dies suffering will go back quicker than an adult, but will need to understand the meaning of that suffering in his or her life before she or he does. Then maybe she or he will remember a little meaning.

"The trick is to give up specific lives, but keep the accumulating insights of all lives and the meaning discovered between lives. At some point one gets enough meaning and understanding that one does not need to go back, but can go forward to be a healthy part of a larger entity--like Atoms-In-Training (A.I.T.s). When you are ready to fit in the spiritual molecule, you will. Then you become an M.I.T. (Molecule-In-Training). We are climbing Jacob's Ladder, so to speak." (1/13/96 - Y#8)



"Most therapists can relate to dysfunction, but not to function. Don't most therapists, in nontherapeutic situations, seem weird or aloof or cold or out of it? They have focused so much on need, they can't relate otherwise. Some need control, and others are just using gifts and talents; but gifts and talents that limit other interactions. They are like fans of anything; they have a lot to say and give in their area, but not much else--which is their blessing and calling, and their curse.

"Spiritual guides seem to be different. They usually begin by feeling full, not empty. They come to share, not to cure. And they know they can't give you your spirit's experience, only you can. But they feel the fullness so strongly, they know it is possible for those who choose. Psychologists begin with a belief that a patient is in a deficit and they will help bring them up to normal. But people like spiritual guides believe you start normal, and they help you find the extraordinary. Filling a hole or building a hill takes the same amount of dirt, but the end product gives a much different view.

"Believe in yourselves. Let go and hang on. It is a roller coaster, but soon it will be a tunnel of love and a grand parade." (1/27/96 - I#4)



"I hang out with a former Secretary of State (but not U.S.) and another friend was a street sweeper in Roma and my friend GC is from Johannesburg and WL is from Honshu (he did laundry). My fellow guides. So, I could have told you about their other lives--we're all long-timers. Two more: a baker from Cleveland and a rancher's wife from Terra del Fuego.

"But we are all alike. How? That's the big one: we've learned to trust. Wow, what a great word. Trust, trust, trust. And we learned that difference is not always difference, and that you receive as you give, and a lot more shit. Try that again: trust, trust, trust, t-r-u-s-t--it's a cha-cha. You have to know how to trust yourself no matter what. But think about this: a group made up of all trusting spirits. That's what I've got.

"And notice that it is not a matter of intelligence or status. In fact, in your world some of the simplest people, who may seem dumb, are closer than the geniuses. Simple people seem that way because they have little left to remember.

"We three have been simpletons lately--a few lives ago. Randy, does the idea of 'village idiot' ring any bells? You were one in England. Mumsy, do you ever feel like you were cast in a wrong role? Like in the Kalahari? The boy too dense to hunt, made to do women's work--your African connection. In your tribe they kept asking, 'Where did he come from?' A chief's son. Papa was your mother. And me, 30 years on a Viking fishing ship as cabin boy on board, nothing on land. Smelly. And get this, I liked it-- that's how dumb I was. Lived through seven captains. Captured once but they quickly put me ashore. Looked like a troll: four feet seven, hairy, swarthy, dumb.

"So we've done that. And you see it doesn't matter. What's important is what you remember from what you learn. Trust and love and giving transcend all that. I think this time we are all intelligent and relatively normal so we can communicate this to others and be heard and understood. Village idiots may learn but are seldom listened to." (1/28/96 - W#20)



"As one evolves and learns, one needs to explore the relationship between self and sexuality. A phase of that may be trying on the feelings and emotions of one gender in the other's body. Eventually we learn that sexual identity unites us, not distinguishes us. Sex is about reproduction, but sexuality is about identity. And the broader the understanding, the wider the identity, and therefore the greater chance to move ahead in unity, QED.

"If the goal is ultimate unity, we must find identities that lead to unity. Neither gay nor straight is better or worse; what is or is not learned is what is important. Gay people who use their sexuality for differentiation will have a lot more work to do, just as rampant heteros have a lot of work ahead... not to mention surprises. When we look at others and our immediate response is how we are similar, then we are getting closer. So, that's the goal: Find unity and move on." (1/30/96 - V#5)



"The woman from Terra, etc., was psychic but her family treated her like she was nutso. But ha, she saw a big storm and made her husband bring all the cattle to pasture. They were the only ones in their area not to lose cows. Now they all believe her. Her husband had her committed. She got out by learning not to talk about her visions. She died at 65.

"And the baker led a boring life and died 10 days after retiring. But he made a pile of dough. But seriously, he would spend every Saturday afternoon working with poor kids; and he says he wouldn't trade his life with anyone. He learned that life is measured in your perceptions not its realities. What matters is what you get out of it.

"Look, breathing is pretty boring but it supports the rest. Think, if you met someone who said, 'What have I done? I breathed 167,000 times.' Boringggggg. But the same person could be Buddha. But don't move to Cleveland." (1/31/96 - W#21)



"Julia's good. She has moved to another group. She is making amazing progress. And Papa is flying. No garages.

"I've always loved dancing, so I did it before and I did it in my last life and I do it now. It's just me. And Papa always loved the beach and air. And you have always loved writing. And Randy always loved talking. You always loved to write or express your feelings and Randy always loved pleasing the crowd." (2/4/96 - W#22)



"Josef is kind and he died for being kind in a world and time filled with hate and Nazis. But he still believes in human good and potential." (2/6/96 - W#23)



"Bound up, suffocating, that's what asthma is symptomatic of for some; fear for others. They're afraid of breathing, so they stop. More asthma these days means more fearful, uptight people. Slum dwellers--especially blacks--have a higher rate, but not for environmental reasons. It is just their fear levels. They are fearful, or their parents are." (2/9/96 - R#9)



"Now, as to Josef. He was detained in an early Nazi operation. Czech patriots were coopted into believing him a traitor but he was able to gain his release; but only until the SS could have him murdered. His family all disappeared, and even now he is not in touch with some. He thinks they are still alive but spiritually broken. But he laughs a lot and tells great stories. Papa is a little shy around him. He treated Jews and gypsies well. He lied to Nazi collaborators to save people.

"He knows he is above that stuff--it happens but does not define him. That's the test: can you experience bad things and not have you defined by them. Learn from them, yes; but define you, no. Think about that." (2/11/96 - W#24)

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