|"I am a guide. I guide them
where they need or want to go or grow. I share where I
have been that they need or want. We help each other to
find the way. I have guides, too. Some have got it and
some don't. We are a guide entity--same wisdom.
In Babylon I was Randy's wife, Celene, black."
(9/13/95 - W#1)
"We had a life together in France in 1745. Let you
eat brioche. 1265 England (Thames), 856 B.C.E. Africa,
Babylon 1673 B.C.E., I guess.
minor nobility, Loire in a valley. Not a big chateau,
four servants. Mom sister, Randy brother. Parents dead
(plague). Parties, music patrons (minor). Papa
grandfather, count, raised us. I was Annabella, Randy was
Hector, and Mom Simone. Hector oldest. 1, 2, 3. One year
apart. We were 3 (Hector), 2 (Annabella), and 1 (Simone)
when our parents died. Suki cousin, 6, lived in the same
town. She was Juliette.
"Hector went to Allemagne
at Revolution (1789), died there at 57. Born in 1745.
Simone's husband a drunk, Hector's wife a shrew, and my
husband a braggard, lived on my money. Lost his head in
1791--didn't need it. Juliette a nun. Enough."
(9/14/95 - W#2)
"Fears keep things from happening; they don't make
them happen. Fears keep you from good things."
(9/19/95 - R#1)
"Liz and I were sisters long ago. Liz's name was
Helena, mine Ruth. In Egypt, slaves. Parents were dead.
Ruth 7, Helena 9. Worked in a bakery, as slaves--1354
B.C.E., I guess. Next time now, big gap. Liz
went somewhere--other reality." (9/20/95 - W#3)
"Mom our master in Egypt--name Coepoe (doesn't
translate, Egyptian tough.) Man, short, bald, no teeth,
old, kind, fed us well. Ruth Hebrew, Helena Greek. Dad
Greek, mom Hebrew. Bakery successful. Randy was your
wife--shorter, fat, not bald, good cook. His name Seres.
"Ali connected to me in many lives. In France,
Suki's servant (before Suki went to the convent.) Then
she lived with us. Always friends, in every life. In
Egypt, Ali neighbor--slave, too.
"Liz was guide junior, G.I.T., busy." (9/21/95
"It is confusing until you get it straight in you.
The answers are not outside." (9/21/95 - V#)
This is important. If you and others dont
grow from this experience, then you are deader than I am.
Get past it by living even fuller lives.
"I can't talk through alot of emotion--like static.
You can't hear me when you have so much of yourself to
listen to. Take the time you need, but seek a little
progress every day. If you can't go forward, at least
don't regress. Do things--not busy, active. Have days
with substance. Make lists, do the listed things. Sounds
like a lecture you gave me about not getting emotional
over what I wasn't getting done. So listen to your own
advice. I did (surprise) and you knew what was right. And
create the life you want. It won't just happen."
(9/24/95 - W#)
"Hi. I am fine, thanks, and you. I went to Yale long
ago (1930s). Let's talk about Rikkity. She dances with
spirit... or spirits... or drinks spirits. Eats ambrosia.
Don't we all. Your time will come. I must beg your
forgiveness, I have to go. Bye-bye for now."
Rikkity: "So, what do you think. Gotcha. So
there. Surprise. Stop focusing on yourself and a lot is
possible. All for tonight." (9/24/95 - W#)
"After Hector went bye-bye, we hid with Suki--not
talking, shhh! Later, a small farm as cooks.
Better than being dead. Farm also an inn, small. We
helped Hector leave--dressed him as a woman. Ugly.
"In the future big family reunion. I am father,
Randy mother, Suki sister, you boy (tall), Papa will be
papa, Liz will be baby sister, Lee will be our lawyer,
Ali my sister (twin), Bill minister (woman), Randy's mom
our doctor. Rich works for us, pool man." (9/26/95 -
"I'll be spiritual guide (call it 'college dean'),
in Europe. You go to Yale. Later, Liz goes to Harvard
grad school (trick, she goes to Yale) to study psych. You
study math--very new math. College's initials ES. You are
on crew, wake up at 6. You are hunk, dark. Professor at
M.I.T., live in Cambridge, marry once--someone from past.
3 children--one of each, one cat. Good life, except for
2187--ill, get better, mono, bad case. Cat is Smokey,
orange. He liked being a cat with us. He has another life
in between, opera singer--tenor, fat. Some people can
have lives as animals--like sabbatical, if you learn,
bonus. You have been a cat. Lazy." (9/27/95 - W#6)
"In England we were sort of officials. You know, not
serfs, not nobility. How to say, you were a tax
collector, I was another tax collector. Randy was a
wench... a bawdy wench. We shared her. Moving right
along.... Cousins, illegitimate--father same, so not
really cousins. Dad was Earl. Mom for me cook, for you
daughter of stable master. Educated in fighting,
drinking, wenching, bribery, sloth. Died young (23 and
21)--me peasant revolution, you clap (21). Four years
apart. I died first.
"Suki there as a
dog--hunting, prize, best, beagle, cute, always barking.
Lee stable boy, 'as you wish,' scarred with pox. Had
smallpox, survived, immune after. So she was valued
because she could work with animals sick--like vet.
"We thought we were happy,
until end. End so bad. I get beaten to death peasant
revolution, you didn't do better--slow death. We learned.
We learned to live better lives. We caused our own pain.
"Papa was Earl.
"Future different. Europe
will be two countries. We'll live in part that will
contain Italy. Food very good. Rules--like Quantum
Leap, rules prevent me from disclosing."
(9/29/95 - W#7)
"I guide you for awhile. We take turns. We represent
parts, or aspects, of the entity. Different insights,
different needs, different learnings, same entity--like Three
Faces of Eve. Not split, but multifaceted entity.
'From you I receive, to you I give. Together we love,
together we live.' Girl Scout song." (10/2/95 - W#8)
"Our life in Africa was along river. Black... I mean
black. Long ago, after Egypt. Hunt, gather, tell stories.
You father, me mother, Suki and Randy twin boys, Papa
chief--wise guy. Barbara shaman." (10/2/95 - W#9)
"Hitler's spiritual entity split. His good
continues; his bad split among many. If bad congregates
too much in one entity, it self-destructs, but only after
great suffering. So-called evil is an unstable
entity, afraid of its own destruction so bad is
intensified, but it ultimately destroys itself. The only
stable state for entities is loving. Tha- tha- that's
all, folks." (10/2/95 - R#2)
"This thing about evil. As I was saying,
evil does not pre-exist. It is the by-product of the
accumulation of bad feelings: fear, doubt, shame, other.
Any one alone is not evil; one is a point for learning
and growth. People live with these bad feelings all the
time, no big whoop. But when they cluster, the energy
holes. Eventually, they get so strong
they can suck the good into their energy. Evil is a
cluster of bad feelings energized by co-opted good. Evil
does not arise without the complicity of good. You all
know that. You say, 'He had good intentions' as an excuse
when bad things occur.
"Hitler rose to
power through his sick views and the
cooperation of good people. He created the evil design,
but it took the energy taken from good to make
it realised. Being good isn't enough. Choosing the
direction of life is the important thing. Good that is
not focused serves to energize evil.
"If all people were intentional about their good,
evil could not be empowered. Evil is more the
construction of good left unfocused than of the clustered
bad. Without the energy of good, the bad would soon
self-destruct--like a gang of bad guys. Without external
forces, the gang will fight each other and destroy
itself. Gangs are unstable. Evil is, too. It takes
enormous energy to create stability. Bad does not have
the sustaining energy to do that. It needs external
"That's all I have to say for now. Test on Thursday
and every day. And the score is: Evil 1, Good __ (fill in
the blanks with your lives). Good luck." (10/3/95 -
"It is hard to think in terms of time. Here is
post-temporal. We do things for as long as they take or
happen. We schedule activities, not times. Some vacation,
try my way.
"Time is only a quantity if you choose. Einstein
was right: You use time to avoid the
infinite nature of reality. Time implies beginning
and ending, but that ain't the way it is. Do
circles have beginnings and endings? So, why must other
things? You see a line, and you can't tell where it
started. Maybe it is still happening. Who can say. But
you can't say where it started or stopped. Rulers don't
measure anything more than themselves. Enough"
(10/3/95 - B#1)
gracious good morning to you. Now I will resume dictation...
always wanted to say that. You may
take your break. Seriously, when I talk about a
time to talk, I have to translate my reality. If you
received my words as I have them, you would get a burst
of words, and then an hour of your time might pass before
another word might come; then 15 minutes later you might
get 150 words in a minute. So, I have to convert the flow
so you can understand. I schedule so the flow can happen.
Like files onto different computers, if you don't get the
two hooked up at the same time and speed, you get
"In spiritual terms, there are some times (in your
terms) that connect to larger communications. Holy days
are based on these times. The natural converters touch
your world at those times. That's why civil holidays
don't pack the wallop that cultural and religious ones
do. Holy days arose because of what people felt and
experienced, not because of some event in human history.
The high points of this are all natural, like the seasons
and the universe. Each person has his or her own times of
connection. Astrology begins to understand this, but
there is so much more. Astrology is very primitive, but
do not misunderstand--most other ways of knowing, like
sciences and philosophy, are more primitive. But
astrology should be seen as a small and clouded window
that one has to wipe clean with the waters of experience,
and open wider with the powers of mind--start, not
finish; vehicle, not destination. It won't save the
world, and science and religion won't either. People
"And don't wait for God to do it. He's gone fishing
whales). Seriously, God is not a
repairman. He's more of a reference resource. When you
get it right, the universe lets you know because you have
become part of God. You become a reference point for
others and a resource for all. You join in the great flow
of wisdom and life.
"The goal of the spirit is to increasingly be part
of the wisdom of the universe and the meaning of life. Nirvana hints
at this. JC said you
have to lose your life to find it. The
point of life is not to differentiate yourself, but to
integrate yourself into the universal wisdom and living.
You may take a break. And a gracious goodbye."
(10/5/95 - B#2)
"Get this, I finally figured it out. Everybody is
always here, but I can only sense the ones who have a
role to play with me right now. So Frank is
here, but I don't sense him. Same with Dad. If
and when I need to learn from them, they will be here for
me. Same in life. People appear to come and go from your
life, but they are always there; it is your sensing that
comes and goes. That's why sometimes you need someone and
it seems like they suddenly appear across a crowded room.
So, chew on that for awhile.
create your own reality, but the universe
provides the materials. Focus or sense or attend or
notice or separate from background or give credence to or
envision or let happen. If you paid attention to that
list, you would see that there is no substantial
difference between religious concepts like prayer or
surrender or intense meditation or yoga empty mind or
humanistic intense reason or Gestalt or Transactional
Analysis. All can be paths to
relationships we seek or need, or that seek or need us.
"If you truly need to relate, only you can keep it
from happening. And if you don't want to relate, no path
can take you there. And if you want to relate, any and
every path will take you there." (10/8/95 - V#1)
"In the parallel
realities, there are all the people you
will ever need to know in all your lives--like spiritual green
rooms of your drama. But some who
wait never get called by you. Those may try to get your
attention through dreams or events or crises. You create
a reality without them, and they show you how that turns
out, so you can see how you need them. What you get is
your reality illuminated by them. A bummer day may not be
inherently bad, but you did not include someone who could
have given you something.
"We usually miss out when we go it alone or not
looking for new viewpoints. A host awaits your call--a
whole host (that's what we call us) saying 'Peace
on Earth and good will.' " (10/10/95 -
"You will die from anger if you let it rule. You can
be alive but dead when anger and hate fill you. You give
your energy over to bad things, you can't heal. So seek
justice, but not revenge.
"Now as to world peace: it's the same. Focus on
anger and hate and die, but focus on life and live. Stop
looking for answers and start feeling alive, and all the
world's problems can be solved... or more likely, the
problems will fade. If people knew more about building
windows and bridges, not walls, life could be better. So,
that's all I have to say about that." (10/16/95 -
"Part of a person's development is learning how to
assemble and use one's energy. That's why the old souls
seem to do everything with little effort. They know the
energies they have, and how to best use them. Wisdom is
more about energy than about knowledge. That's why some
old people seem so wise. They know how to focus their
energy on the important stuff--don't sweat the small
crap. And I don't mean details, I mean stuff like
jealousy, envy, perfection, salvation, image, etc. They
do worry about details, but details of big stuff like
understanding, harmony, justice, mercy, love, etc.
"In more evolved people, the ratio of energy used to
control energy used is much smaller--all falling to near
zero in the great souls. That's why people always talk of
their great energy, because so little goes for overhead.
In fact, the great ones are always described in energy
terms: light, sound, fire, etc. The people know great
energy when they experience it ('who
wore at their hearts the fire's center'). On
the other hand we have black
holes. They take in more than they
"Some groups suck the same way, and it takes more
energy than one person can give to meet their needs. A
country like Israel always needs outside energy. Now,
France gives back more than you give in; Italy, too. The
United States so-so; Boston and New York City give the
most; not mid- anything (the pit is in
Nebraska). Williamsburg A-ok; Phoenix near-pit;
Washington; DC so-so. Spain ok, Germany pit, England
so-so, Switzerland sucks (beautiful, but... ), Greece ok,
Russia mixed up, Iceland could go either way, Egypt
so-so, Japan sucks, China so-so, India ok.
"More good in the world, but bad is strong. A person
from Nebraska can suck a lot of New York City's good in
one minute. They attract bad to them but they don't know
they are bad, so they think good people are getting
mugged... like Brits in Paris attract the worst French.
So, enough for now" (10/17/95 - R#5)
"Members of the same entity are not always together.
Think about a stone. It may have started as mud, then
became rock, then stone, then pebble, then mud. And at
some times, the elements of the stone were separate, but
later they come back together. So, when you go solo, you
still remember connection and seek reconnection.
"You feel wise and with a mission. Jesus, in his
famous life, was one of these--knowing more than a single
life could hold, and looking for better life. And that's
all I have to say about that.
words, 'Who is my mother? Who is my
family?' The answer was not the obvious biological one.
Your existence is primally connected to your entity.
Enough for now." (10/19/95 - V#2)
"In France we died of old age and lots of wine
(cirrhosis)--but mainly old age (80s). No children. Dogs.
We never remarried. Missed kraut-lover and worried. He
had a long career on the stage in drag, in Hanover. He
was known as the Queen of Hanover." (10/19/95 -
"A spiritual vampire stays alive by feeding off
others. Vampire stories are not about death, but about
living off the living but being spiritually dead. It
seems fascinating for awhile to think of being dead--that
is, beyond all pain and care--and still have energy and
power. Adolescents struggle with that. Being a teen is
tough, and we wanted to avoid the pain but have the
power. Surprise! The only real power comes through living
through the pain, and the only real energy is what you
find in your aloneness. What you find then can energize
all your moments and, with others of like experience, you
can build great things. But if you try to connect
otherwise, either you will suck energy from others or
they from you... or you all will seek others to deplete.
Hate groups are people who all need energy from others.
"Think about this: A black is threatened by the KKK.
He has to use his energy to deal with it, and the KKK
gets the energy, and he has that much less to use in his
life. Oppressed groups are often seen as lazy or lacking
drive, but it is really that the oppressors are taking so
much energy. Their wills are willing but the energy is
gone. And sometimes the energy they do have gets bundled
up in violence because they don't have the extra energy
"Now, the Jews were different. They were oppressed,
yes, but they figured out how to suck energy from the
oppressors. The story
of Moses: it's not about God, it's about
how the people could learn to whine and be annoying and
get the energy they need. Israel shows how to do it.
Right now they are sucking the energy of the Arabs, and
they still can look like oppressed victims. Best thing
would be for everyone to stop oppressing them and stop
helping them. If they were not victims, they would not
know what to do. So, that's it for today.
"You see it's all about energy. No wonder we who
sense this hate that
Bunny. Love and energy are ultimately
the same when they are genuine." (10/26/95 - R#6)
"A lot want to believe and experience, but only a
few really believe and have experienced. You can read all
you want about France, but until you go there it's not
real. And some people get there and stay in the tourist
areas, because they can't deal with the reality of their
dreams. It's like just saying 'yes' or 'no,' but nothing
else, when you talk with us. You get a chance to travel,
and then only look for the familiar. Enough for
now." (10/30/95 - I#2)
"I have no idea where this dog came from but he's
cute. Can I keep him? I'll call him Sandy so the sun will
come out tomorrow. ARF ARF." (11/2/95 - W#11)
"Colors can open your life--attract new energy. They
call black conservative but what it does is
conserve and contain energy, while bright colors attract
and emit all sorts of energy." (11/2/95 - R#7)
"We've all had so many relationships with
first-timers in this life so we won't let them do it to
us again. We were learning about first-timers. We had
become a little na´ve, or complacent, about how much
could be demanded by such people. We believed that we had
our acts so together that we did not need to worry about
such people. But we needed to relearn how much energy
they can demand. We na´vely gave it to them, thinking
that it was a loving act because we were loving. But
loving must be a two-way street.
"We think we are living out
healthy and proper relationships, so we do it to feel
whole. Even though in reality it is far from whole, it's
all we know. I learned that lesson painfully. Too many
takers and users. But don't blame yourselves. You did
what seemed right, and now you know better. Blame
yourself if you continue the patterns, having had the
chance to learn." (11/10/95 - W#12)
"We don't choose our next life, we are chosen. We
can refuse the choice, but we can't make one on our own.
Opportunities, not choices." (11/12/95 - Y#1)
"It is true in life, people look the best who are
spiritually fit and developed and whole. And everyone can
be; it just takes a few more lives for some. Sometimes
people miss the next lesson, and then also lose some of
what they had. But generally it can be onward and upward.
"People who take their own lives lose the lessons
they were supposed to learn in that life, and
more--except young people. They were not ready to learn
yet, but fell through the web of meaning. They start over
again soon. But those who had begun to learn lose that
and more. Fear is the barrier to love and growth and
cocreativity, but despair is a wall around fear, even--so
high one does not even see fears to be overcome.
"The person who despairs is beyond emotions of
growth. In fact, if you can make a desperate person
afraid, he or she will save him or herself. A desperate
person in a house, about to take a bottle of pills, will
run out and save themselves if that house catches
fire." (11/19/95 - Y#2)
"Things are different for me. You think physically
and temporally, but I think spiritually and eternally, so
for me, we are together. Some day you will experience
"My time is different than yours. What I have been
doing has filled the time since we talked, but it has not
been seven days to me--just a period of being. Our times
are not parallel; I just connect to yours in your time. I
could, right now, give you the next 20 conversations. But
you would not understand them until their time had come.
They would be just a lump of communication, waiting to be
spread out by your time." (11/19/95 - B#3)
"Gaston was a friend. He helped us after
kraut-breath left. He later suffered from a form of
anemia and those quacks bled him to cure it.
"Gaston would sometimes
pretend that he had been a peasant on our estate and that
we were his sisters, so the Revolution left us alone. But
in the end we had to live the truth of that story. Hey,
you do what you do to survive. Where once we all danced
with powdered wigs, then we scrubbed the same floors for
the guests of the auberge. A small part of it
was left untouched by the fires they set. But we dared
never speak of any time we were not servants.
"The owners came with the
mobs and claimed the ruins as theirs. Gaston passed us
off as the former lower-level staff. He was as noble as
we, but it did not matter. They thought him to be a
stable hand. His hands were burned in the fire. They
thought he had helped set them but he was really trying
to save some of his family's things; but he let them
think he was a Republican." (11/20/95 - W#13)
"I am guiding and training and learning... and
dancing and partying. I am training other guides in
certain areas of my vast expertise (humility). And
insights into diversity issues, how to help people find
their own identities... hard for mixed people, like me. I
teach. And how to make people feel welcome.
"The future hangs on the ability to see diversity as
good. The living have to learn this." (11/23/95 -
"All of those human celebrations tap into our
spiritual reality. At those times, you sense the eternal
more strongly; for us, it is always strong. But on
Halloween and Summer Solstice, we tap into your material
reality more strongly, but it is always strong for you...
and some traveling cosmic days (when
the moon is in the seventh house,
etc.). Astrology, babe. When certain conjunctions occur
in the material and spiritual planes, we get closer, and
all the great human holy days were based on those times.
That's why Christmas works but July 4th is crap."
(11/24/95 - B#4)
"Papa is here but he won't be talking--still a
little dazed. He just quit. He knew that I was with him
and he was at peace. He looks dazed but marvelous. No
pain and no Hazel. He's free of all that held him back.
"He'll be with me for
awhile. He will not be in my group but I will see him.
But no Cadillac. Just remember he is well now. Cherish
the memories. He will be happy if life is good for you.
"But we can't go shopping.
'Hey Papa, buy me this.' 'Sure, babe.' The worlds are not
the same. What was secure is changed. Life and death move
on, and we feel the eternal tremble beneath our souls and
don't know if we feel joy or wonder or terror or fear. So
much to feel, and even more to understand."
(11/27/95 - W#14)
"The purpose of my life was connections and
love--showing people how it is possible. I did fulfill my
purpose. The purpose of life is to figure that out. Go
figure, as Papa would say." (12/5/95 - V#3)
"Anger arises when we feel powerless and we seek
some energy. And if the other person does not respond,
the angry one gets even angrier--feeling even more
powerless. Anger uses energy in an attempt to get energy,
but if none is forthcoming there is a bigger deficit. So
the angry person keeps looking for a source. You hate
your boss, so you kick the dog. It works, but in negative
ways because that energy is never yours. It does not
ultimately fulfill the need. Only you can create the
energy you need--not others, not God, not anything. And only
you can prevent forest fires.
"Angry people just get angrier. Real power is
generated within yourself by what you do and feel and
think and dream and dare. We are generators. We are the
creators of our physical energies. We take in and
transform the energy to our use. So why not the same with
spiritual energy?" (12/10/95 - R#8)
"Wow, you wouldn't believe
it. I feel great, and the beach is so clean. Don't have
to worry about what's in the sand--no jellyfish or glass.
And the people are all so friendly. The water is always
"I've been teaching people
who were deaf. They have ideas about sound but I teach
them about what sound really is: waves of energy. They
think about making sounds from mouth energy but I teach
them to make sounds from the inner energy they have
"So it's like this: you
have something to say and you say it without thinking
about using your mouth and air. They have always had
things to say but did not. When they try to speak they
focus on speaking, not on their thoughts. So I help them
to learn to express their thoughts.
"Let me give you an
analogy. When I say 'you' I mean you, Elissa. You have an
algebra problem like we used to work on together. You
would always worry about the math so you couldn't see the
principle. You worried about techniques when the answer
was in the idea. And you then, in college, found your
math voice. That's what I help these people do--find a
"So I am happy doing what I
like and not worrying about money. So bye for now. Hang
by your thumbs."
Rikkity: "Papa is happy. I can't shut him up.
He is his young self again. It's spiritual
transformation. You just are what you want. But usually
you work off the most recent life you've had since it is
the most developed." (12/17/95 - W#15)
"So yesterday, so to speak,
this clerk says to me, 'You like peanut butter?' And I
say, 'And how.' He says, 'I am going to get you 50 lbs.
of the best peanut butter you ever tasted,' and boy was
he right. Spiritual peanut butter. I think about it and
it's great. Here thinking is as good as doing.
"We can think about good
stuff, it seems like it happened, and so it is real. But
in your world this is true only in theory for most
people; in our world in practice for most people. The
great people of your world knew it as practice--Buddha,
Jesus, Mohammed, Mother Theresa, Joan of Arc, etc.; Moses
in his younger years, then he lost it.
"What surprises me here is
how good I feel without a body. I've learned I need to be
me first and looks are deceiving; duty isn't all it's
cracked up to be, do it out of love not duty; forget
image, remember your soul. And hang by your thumbs.
"I feel like I am 10 times
smarter here. You're dense, not stupid. It takes you
longer to comprehend; but if you keep it in mind and
ponder, in time all things can be known and understood.
Life is like the local roads off the high-speed
superhighway of being. You see more at the slower speed
and then understand more later at this higher
speed." (12/22/95 - W#16)
"At my death I was ready to
give in, move on. Eri told me it was ok. She and I talked
about it in my dreams. It was private. She said that I
could not believe what would be coming and it was good.
She helped me remember past transitions." (12/22/95
"There's a little 'Mountain' here [Julia, a
seven-year-old camp friend who died of cancer.] I knew
she was coming soon. I was looking before her. She's
dazed and tired. She has been through too much. No kid
that age should have to go through all that. But she is
ok, smiling, and she was surprised to see me. She didn't
know I died. She asked, 'Is this camp?' She was glad to
go home from the hospital. She hated the wires and tubes.
"She has been assigned to moi,
and I may have Papa talk to her, too. She has been
without voice for several months, in and out of
consciousness, and when you are full of pain and drugs
then your voice may not be yours. But first I have to get
Papa back from his travels. She'll sit on his lap and
he'll tell her one of his strange stories. 'No, Papa,
that's not right. Get it right, Papa.' " (12/28/95 -
"This old man went rolling home. This old man, he
played five, he played knick-knack on a hive. I'm playing
with Julia. She giggles a lot. She's better. No camp
food, yay. Still a little dazed--she is little. She seems
glad to be rid of the tubes and pain. She likes 'woofer.'
ARF ARF. She says, 'He's a big woofer.' ARF. She misses
her family, but mixed emotions. She is more nostalgic
about one or two years ago. She was so frail. Spiritually
she barely belonged to your world." (12/30/95 -
"What we do can connect to any point in your
time." (12/30/95 - B#5)
line about remembering the soul's
history. That is what makes the truly great. They have
both lived much and remember. It is not surprising that
almost all the great ones have had a belief in spiritual
matters. And I now realize that I sensed more than I
remembered, and what you sense but don't remember can be
more trouble than what you forget. Much of what we act
out is a result of sensing but not knowing ('a
little knowledge,' etc.). We keep coming back to
remember, not sense. The goal is to have it be concrete.
"What we need to do is realise that we are an entity
of complex personal relationships. We sense that, but
when we remember that--all of us remember that--then we
will begin to function as that entity, not as components,
and we will evolve in the next stage of spiritual
"The history of the soul is differentiation then
consolidation, over and over. We become our entity, and
later we discover that we are part of a still larger
entity. And when we remember that, we become that, and so
forth... moving toward a single entity of all energy,
which is the consolidation of all individual
differentiations. But that single entity is both the sum
of all that has been, and is also always becoming more,
and the process is infinite--like the Iroquois
"You have just been given one of the great secrets
and lessons of spiritual existence. You live to
discover who you are--not as a differentiated individual,
but as a component element of an ever-evolving, ever-more
complex, spiritual being/reality. And boy, does
it take time by your standards. But in infinite terms, it
is as quick as electrons forming atoms forming molecules
forming you." (1/5/96 - V#4)
"Children remember creativity. They know they create
their own realities, but they forget exactly how. And if
adults don't know what it is, it's still something. There
are realities with green skies and blue trees and hot ice
cream. You used to understand it, but then came
reality, under God, indivisible."
(1/7/96 - I#3)
"First-timers think it is all about them. In life
they concentrate on their needs, then they die and expect
everyone to be bereft. But hey, lots of people are glad
to see them go. They arrive here thinking they're
special, and they also feel like martyrs--no one
understands them or appreciates all they've done. It's
like Eden all over. Remember Adam and Eve? First-timers,
and no one appreciated all they did. Is that story
symbolic or what?
"Now, second-timers are know-it-alls--been there,
done that--but caught up in shoulds and musts.
Lots of Germans. Does World War II make sense now?
"But third-timers are often clueless. They have been
around long enough to have stuff to remember, but they
don't, and they sense they should. They're bewildered.
They sense there are rules and conventions but they can't
seem to get them right. Traveling is hard for them; they
are often homebodies. They eat, dress, and think plainly.
"And for all three groups, the usual response of
family is, 'Where did they come from?' Their families see
them as anomalies. They don't fit because indeed they
don't fit. After that, things settle down. Fourth-timers
are a breed apart--not special, but special in another
way; special because they begin to show insight, which is
another term for remembering.
"Now, picture this: a first-timer marries a
second-timer: WW III. Or, say a long-timer marries a
second-timer: WW IV. Think about it: a person who knows
it all, is absolutely certain of himself, and feels that
others don't understand. Lots of second-timers die
violent deaths that they could have avoided: 'Say,
sergeant, let me rush the machine gun. I can make it;'
'There's plenty of room to pass. Now shut up and let me
drive;' 'I know how much drug I can take;' 'Who needs a
rope? It's only a small cliff.' And they translate that
feeling of knowing it all into genius or creativity.
NaivetÚ becomes expertise, ha. They're all
dead. 'And don't you argue with me.' Nixon was a
second-timer. He used the country for his
self-destructive actions... always was right.
"If first-timers are out of it, then second-timers
are paranoid because they don't remember but realise
others do. Third-timers realise that they, too, can
remember, but don't. Second-timers see remembering as a
plot and conspiracy against their brilliant creativity
and expertise. A first-timer, hearing a question about
their actions, will say, 'Why not, I wanted to.' A
second-timer will say, 'Who are you to ask and what do
you want to make of it, huh.' Third-timers ask, 'Why are
you asking me. I don't get it.' There's hope for
them." (1/10/96 - Y#4)
"People who appear secure in situations of great
change just don't get it." (1/10/96 - Y#5)
"A first-timer can
sometimes be a dead end. If s/he were to go on, then the
ultimate synthesis later on with entity would be like
cancer. S/he could be an old- or long-timer and still act
like a first-timer if s/he was allowed to go on--an
eternal neophyte." (1/10/96 - Y#6)
"Here's another piece of other-side trivia:
voyeurs (also many detectives and spies, etc.)
are second- or third-timers who have experienced the
reality of looking into other lives, but who only
remember the looking, but forget it is supposed to be
spiritual, not physical. And now you know!" (1/12/96
"As I was saying, this is, believe it or not, a
democratic place. As people, so to speak, move through
here, they get some say about what happens. Once in
awhile, little kids and short-timers decide that they
know it all and are ready to go back. But nooooo, they
are not ready, which is what they must learn--but they
learn it at the expense of the living. So a kid might go
back with only the experience of fear from life, and then
live out a new life full of violence. A kid who dies
suffering will go back quicker than an adult, but will
need to understand the meaning of that suffering in his
or her life before she or he does. Then maybe
she or he will remember a little meaning.
"The trick is to give up specific lives, but keep
the accumulating insights of all lives and the meaning
discovered between lives. At some point one gets enough
meaning and understanding that one does not need to go
back, but can go forward to be a healthy part of a larger
entity--like Atoms-In-Training (A.I.T.s). When you are
ready to fit in the spiritual molecule, you will. Then
you become an M.I.T. (Molecule-In-Training). We are
Ladder, so to speak." (1/13/96 -